Usually nobody knocks on my door on a Friday night anymore as I've made it known that like to stay at home and relax.  Well, when I'm not doing a show.  But tonight someone was knocking.  I went to the front door and opened it to find out who wanted my attention this evening.  Turned out to be my neighbor from across the hall.  "Hi Monika.  What's up?"  She was dressed in a t-shirt, gym shorts and barefoot.

"Um, hi.  Can I come in?"

I stepped out of the doorway to give her room.  "Sure.  C'mon in."

She walked in and stopped in the middle of my living room, looking away from me and lightly wringing her hands in front of her waist.

"Are you okay?  What's wrong?"

She shifted her weight.  "Um, well... You know that thing that you can do?  With the magic?"

"Well, yeah.  Why?  You finally want to try it?"  I had offered before but she had politely declined.  This was a couple years ago when she moved into the building and we got to know each other.  I haven't offered since then as I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

Monika sighed.  "No, not really.  But I think I have to.  For a little bit."

I was confused.  "Ooookay...  So you don't want to but you have to?  That... doesn't make sense.  What's going on?"

She sat down on my couch and wrung her hands a bit before replying.  "It's my legs.  They're... bothering me.  I can't sleep or concentrate on anything lately."

I sat on the coffee table across from her, genuinely concerned.  "Bothering you?  You have the 'restless leg syndrome'?  Muscle cramps?  A skin condition?"

"No.  None of those.  It's, um... hormones." she said sheepishly.

I raised my eyebrows so fast they almost flew off of my forehead.  "Hormones?" I said with a shocked voice.  I immediately composed myself.  "Ah.  Hormones.  Gotcha.  I can see how that would be difficult to admit."

She fidgeted a bit uncomfortably.  "Yeah.  I need them to stop and I figure if you, you know, take everything off below the waist then they would stop bothering me."

I thought about it.  "Well, yes.  That would work.  But... I hate to make you more uncomfortable but there are other, more common ways to alleviate that... need.  Do you have a significant other or someone you trust to come over and... well, you know?"  Now I was uncomfortable.

"No.  Well, I mean I could, but no.  I don't want to.  I'm not like that, you know?"

I nodded my head.  "I know what you mean.  That's okay."  I paused.  "Have you thought about... um... taking care of it... yourself?"  Now we were both fidgeting because of the uncomfortableness of the conversation.

She stopped all movement for a moment before replying.  "No.  Just... no.  I can't."

I raised my hands in mock defense.  "Okay, okay.  Just thought I'd ask as, well, you know, it'd be done with and you didn't have to tell anyone else."

"Yeah, I know." She replied.  "But then they just want more.  And I'm tired and want them to stop bothering me."

I thought about it and nodded.  "Okay.  What I'll do is split you in half at the waist.  Is that what you're wanting?"

She raised her head and finally looked me in the eye before nodding and giving me a slight smile.

"Okay.  Do you want to do this now?"

"Yes" she replied.  "Please."

I stood up from the coffee table and stodd in the middle of the living room facing Monika.  "Alright then.  This is really easy.  Nothing to be anxious about.  No theatrics or boxes or blades or anything.  I just need you to stand up.  Okay?"

Monika stood up and walked to me.  "Sure.  What do I need to do?"

"I just need you to put your hands around my neck and be prepared to hold on.  I am going to separate you from your legs and then lift you up off of them."  I reached down to her shirt and lifted it just enough so I could put my hands directly on her waist.  She then clasped her hands behind my neck and looked me in the eye with nervous anticipation.

I nodded at her.  "Okay, here we go."  I gently twisted her torso until there was a muffled *pop* and then I lifted her up away from her legs.

Monika's eyes widened before she exclaimed "Ohmygod!"

I grinned at her.  "It's okay.  It's always a bit disorienting the first time."  I twisted around and set her torso down upon the coffee table so she was resting on her new stump.  "Okay, you can let go now."

She released her hands from behind my neck and then looked down at her truncated form.  She lifted her shirt a bit so she could see where her body now ended.  "Ohmygod.  This is...  Wow."

I was smiling at her reaction.  I never get tired of when someone experiences this for the first time.  "I know.  Take a minute or two to adjust."

She nodded without looking up.  Monika then lifted herself up off of the coffee table, testing her new decreased weight and then set herself down again.  She did this a few times before she then realized that her t-shirt was longer than her torso and was getting 'sat' on when she lowered herself down.  "Huh.  I guess I should have worn a shorter shirt."  She then gathered her shirt up just below her breasts and tied it off on her right side, exposing her belly and keeping the shirt from getting in the way.

"So what do you think?  Is this what you wanted?"

Monika looked up at me with a smile.  "Yeah.  I can't feel my legs so they aren't bothering me.  I don't feel distracted at all now."  She then looked over at her legs which were just standing in the middle of the room.  "Are they going to be okay?"

I crossed my arms and gazed at her separated legs.  "Yeah, they'll be fine.  They may just stand there and be legs.  But then they might 'wake up' and do their own thing.  I can never tell what parts will do."  I turned back to her.  "So how long do you want to stay like this?  I can't turn off your hormones but this will keep them from bothering you until I put you back together."

She looked at her legs with distaste.  "Yeah.  I know.  I'll need them to go back to work Tuesday so I'd like to keep away from them all weekend."

"Tuesday?" I replied.  "Don't you mean Monday?"

"Three day weekend.  Those of us with a normal job keep track of these things" she said with a smirk.  "Maybe they'll be over it by Monday night?"  She thought for a second.  "Or maybe Tuesday morning?  Think you can get up early Tuesday to put me back together?"

I thought about it.  I'm not a morning person but I am a sucker for a pretty lady.  "Yeah, I suppose I can.  Just not too early."

"Great!"  She hopped down from the table and then paused.  "Huh.  It seems they're waking up."

I took a look at her legs.  Her left leg shifted a bit and then bent it's knee enough to raise up her foot and scratch her right ankle with her toe.  "Yeah, looks like you've got a pet pair of legs for the weekend."

Monika started moving towards the door.  "Nope" she said without stopping, "YOU have a pet pair of legs for the weekend.  I told you I don't want 'em."

My eyes bugged as I realized that she was abandoning her horny legs in my apartment with me.  "Wait.  But... no.  If they're... hormonal like you say then...  I thought you didn't want to..."

"Yeah, well.  Don't care now."  She opened the door and hopped into the hallway.  "I can't feel them so it doesn't seem like they're mine now.  By the way, she likes foot massages."  Monika paused just before closing the door.  "And don't bother trying to knock on my door and give them back to me.  I won't answer.  Have fun!"

Not two seconds later I felt something rubbing up against my leg.  I looked down to see Monika's legs rub up against me, curling her right leg around my leg.  "You're going to be lot of trouble, aren't you."