Automaton

Jess and I hurried out of the hot tub, and toweled ourselves dry. I pulled on my shirt, and she tied her wrap around her hips, then we headed inside through the patio doors, into the great room, which had been converted into a theatre. Most of the furniture had been moved out, and a portable dance floor had been set in front of the bar to act as a small stage. A wide ramp was set on the steps that led up to the entryway, and about sixty chairs were set in rows.

Jessie kissed my cheek, "Be right back, hun- I'm going to brush my hair. Save me a seat?" I nodded.

It turned out it wasn't necessary. Tom had already saved two seats up front for us. I sat beside him and we chatted for a bit until I spotted the Magician coming out from one of the guest rooms into the entryway, wheeling a cart in front of him. The top was thick marble, two feet square, and set upon it, close to the back, was what looked like the robot from the old 1927 movie Metropolis- at least from the waist up. There was nothing below, except a simple shelf on which were stacked some glasses, a shaker, and a pitcher of iced water.

The Magician carefully wheeled the cart down the ramp and onto the stage, setting it so the robot was facing the audience. He stacked the glasses, pitcher, and shaker in front of the robot body, and began asking for drink orders to fill the time while the rest of the guests took their seats. With each order, the robot poured the water from glass to glass, and we watched it change colors as it was mixed into the specified portions and drinks, which the Magician took from the robot and handed to the 'customer.' The robot produced everything from martinis to margaritas (in several flavors!) with the garnishes appearing from beneath the shaker's measuring cup placed on the table.

Jessie found her seat beside me, still in her wrap and one-piece swimsuit. The Magician handed her a spare appletini (tinted nicely green) and asked me for my order. "Go ahead, make it as complex as you like, sir."

I already knew what I wanted- "One perfect bourbon manhattan, straight up, please."

The Magician smiled, "A man who knows what he likes. Bartender, please- one bourbon manhattan, mixed with both sweet and dry vermouth." I watched the robot jerkily pour the colored liquids into the shaker, pick up ice from the pitcher with tongs, and swirl it around before straining the brown liquid into a martini glass. It lifted the lid of the shaker to reveal a cherry, which it dropped into the glass before handing it to the Magician, who delivered it to me.

I took a sip. "Perfect!" I smiled. It was indeed mixed properly.

The Magician looked around and saw most of the seats had now been filled. "Ladies and gentlemen, you've just had a demonstration of my bartending automaton. Now, automatons- robots controlled by clockwork- have a long and colorful history. You may have heard of one of the most famous: "Psycho the Whist-player," constructed in 1873 by the famous magician John Nevil Maskelyne. The autonomous clockwork creation could play cards, and entertained thousands of people. My own automaton shares many things with Psycho."

The Magician lifted the robot off the table. "It is self-contained, just like Psycho." He set the robot on the stage. "I've also made it more portable, and easier to pack." He threw a latch on the robot's right arm, slid it off the shoulder, and passed it around the audience. It was fairly heavy, though not as much as I'd expect if it was solid steel. A metal disc covered the part where the upper arm joined the body. The Magician detached the other arm, passing it around as well. While the arms circulated the audience, his dark-haired assistant Marisol brought out the lower half of the robot- the legs and hips, and stood them beside the upper body.

The Magician lifted the body up and put it on top of its lower half, and it began to walk, in small, jerky steps, around the stage. "I've made it more mobile, as well- Psycho was confined to its podium." The Magician twisted the head backwards, and the robot body started shuffling backwards, to the amusement of the audience. He then removed the head entirely. A metal disc on the bottom of the neck also covered the join with the torso. He handed it to Marisol, who held it up while he reattached the arms to it's body.

"And, finally," he said, taking the head back from Marisol and unlatching two clasps on its side. "Just like Psycho," he continued, "I'm afraid my automaton is also a hoax." He pulled the robot's face off. Beneath was Laurel's. She winked and stuck out her tongue. There were some gasped shrieks as people realized the Magician was holding Laurel's detached head. "Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I'm afraid Laurel has been hiding inside all along." Even when it was in pieces, we realized, though he left it unstated.

The Magician set the head on the body, and pulled the discs out from the neck, shoulders, and waist, and threw latches on the sides of the robot body, then pulled the entire front half off. Laurel stepped out, raised one arm, and took a bow, leaving the empty shell behind. The applauds were practically deafening.

Laurel and Marisol took the robot shells off the stage, and the Magician continued. "Ladies and gentlemen, I did receive a request to perform a specific classic trick tonight, so, with some help from my assistant Hitomi... who's dressed as a cat girl?" The Japanese assistant walked down the ramp and stood beside the Magician. She wore fishnet stockings, a backless one-piece that showed off her hips, and fluffy cat ears and a tail.

"Hitomi, I assume there's a reason you're dressed as a cat girl?"

"Well, yes; Mr Pickles didn't want to get into his travel cage, so we couldn't bring him. Not a problem- I'll take his place."

"Mr Pickles? What does your cat have to do with pulling a rabbit out of a hat?"

"You mean appearing cat, right boss?"

"No, my notes said-"

"Re: app / cat! Regarding appearing cat!"

"It said 'Rabbit hat' Hitomi! Only the most famous trick ever performed by a magician!"

"Well, I'm sorry, boss- if you can't be bothered to write more clearly when you're on the phone, then you'll just have work with what you get!"

The Magician sighed. "Fine. Okay, Hitomi, hop up on the table."

The cat girl-costumed assistant sat down on the marble table, pulling one leg up and letting the other dangle. "Oh. I'm already here, though. How are you going to make me appear-?"

The Magician whipped out a large silk sheet from behind his back and wrapped it over her, leaving her dangling leg hanging out. He pulled back the silk a bit from the top, revealing bunny ears sitting on top of her head, replacing the cat ears. The cat tail flopped down off the table, and he stuffed it inside the silk cloth, then pulled the wrapped silk tighter. It seemed to shrink. He pulled out some of the slack and wrapped it around Hitomi's dangling leg, then pulled it tight again, the contents getting very small inside. He picked the bundle off the table, and opening the folded cloth to reveal a rabbit inside.

"There, Hitomi- now we have the rabbit." He placed the silk cloth, with the bunny in the middle, on the table again, then picked up all four corners, making a fist below them. Slowly, he slid the fist down the cloth, and the small lump inside that was the rabbit got even smaller, until all the cloth passed through his closed hand. He shook the silk out- the bunny had vanished.

"And now the rabbit is gone!" The audience applauded. "All right. Does anyone have a hat?..." Nobody answered.

The Magician looked off stage. "Marisol- we've got a hat in the prop chest, right?"

Marisol called back, "No! No hats!"

The Magician looked disappointed. "Oh, nuts. Well, that's that, I guess. Can't make a rabbit appear again if there's no hat to pull it from." A few people started chuckling. "Thomas- I’m sorry. I can’t pull a rabbit out of a hat for you tonight. Why don’t you come up and help me with the next illusion?”

There were applauds as our host stood up and stepped three feet forward onto the stage. "I’m sorry, I’m a little under-dressed," Tom shrugged in his Hawaiian shirt and boarder shorts.

"That’s quite all right, Tom- it shouldn’t matter. Robyn’s going casual as well." He turned and looked up the ramp. "Robyn, if you would be so kind as to wheel down the box?" The Magician intoned the words with gravity and menace.

His red-headed assistant appeared at the top of the ramp, dressed in a green bikini with a see-through wrap around her hips. She pushed a box on a small, wheeled table in front of her. Its walls were woven like a basket. Inside, numerous swords were stacked against the corner. The box’s lid hung off their pommels.

The Magician smiled. "As I said, she’s going casual- considering she’s about to Face Her Fate! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, take a good look, for this may be the last time you see the lovely Robyn alive!" Robyn giggled, and started handing the swords to Thomas.

"Thomas, I hope you’re prepared, because you have volunteered to take part in the Execution..."

"Of... "

"A boring old sword box illusion."

The audience laughed as some of the tension was diffused.

(To be continued...)