<-- Part 1


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— Shut your damn mouth, Jacob, and listen! — Arthur hissed, his voice going quieter, most likely because he pressed the phone right to his lips, trying to whisper. — I asked you to turn me into a woman. For a week. Not more! For… well, you know why. What the hell is this… improv?

— Improv? — Stein repeated, tensing. — I don’t get it. What’s going on there?

— Don’t joke like that! There’s some guy living in this apartment I was supposed to enter. And he’s sure I’m his girlfriend!

Stein straightened up, the playful look sliding off his face.

— Hold on, did you say “I’m his girlfriend”? Arthur, this is a witness protection program. There shouldn’t be any guys. Just a safe place where you can—

— Jacob, listen to me carefully! — Arthur cut him off, and now real panic bled through his voice. — He knows my name. He calls me “Monica,” not Samantha, and says we’ve been together for two years. He’s showing me photos where we… — Arthur fell silent for a moment, searching for words, — …where we’re together. And they look completely real! He has keys to this apartment! He’s not some psycho!

Stein frowned, quickly opening the temporary transformation program database on his tablet.

— Alright, let’s go step by step. Describe yourself. What do you see in the mirror? Give me your parameters.

Arthur let out a heavy sigh. A step echoed nearby, and he switched back to whispering.

— I… I… what do you mean? — he stumbled. — You need details? Tits, an ass, and my face but with skin smooth like a baby’s butt? Happy now?

Stein rubbed the bridge of his nose.

— Arthur, this is not the time for jokes. I need exact data. Height, weight, the parameters we discussed. Come on.

Silence hung on the line, then Arthur answered quietly:

— Height around one sixty. Boobs… — he stopped again, and Stein heard muffled muttering that sounded like a curse — they’re… huge. Why the hell did you make them that big? And that guy! You want me to fire your ass?

The professor already had the file open for the last “contract” — coded “Alta-7.” Height was supposed to be one seventy. Breast parameters — “moderate,” as they had agreed, for comfortable rest, not to look like a pornstar mascot.

— One sixty and huge boobs? — Stein repeated, his voice turning icy. — Arthur, that’s not what we agreed on. It was written down as one seventy and… you’re in Minneapolis, right?

— Minneapolis? — Arthur’s voice filled with panic again. — No! I’m in some godforsaken hole! Something like Pi… Pine Bluff, yeah! There’s a calendar on the wall, I checked. Arkansas! Don’t tell me I was supposed to be somewhere else!

Stein typed quickly, checking the coordinates. “Alta-7.” Minneapolis, Minnesota. Keys to an apartment with a lake view. “Samantha Johnson, 21, volunteer at the local zoo.” Not “Pine Bluff, Arkansas.”

In the background came the creak of floorboards and a man’s voice, gentle but insistent.

— Moni, sweetheart, the weather outside is so romantic. Maybe we should take a walk? I bought your favorite pastries.

Stein heard Arthur suck in a sharp breath.

— N-not now, honey, — he squeaked, clearly trying to play along. — I… I need to sort something out on the phone. With grandma.