For anyone who doesn’t know the game, I recommend googling at least a short description before reading
Patreon or DevArt definitely won’t allow that if I start writing the story part of this game))
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I had no idea how much time had passed since I talked to that chick in the heavenly office — some kind of… secretary? Yeah. Definitely not a goddess or an angel — just some bored woman in a white shirt with glasses on her nose, like she came straight from an IRS cubicle. She was lazily chewing gum, glancing between me and the computer, which looked ridiculously out of place in this weird heavenly-cosmic bureaucracy.
— Looks like you weren’t supposed to die, — she muttered lazily, obvious irritation in her voice.
— Uh… what? — I frowned, standing in this glowing white void where there were no walls, no ceiling, not even a proper floor — just… like when Windows XP freezes and all you see is the mouse cursor. But here, in the middle of all that, there was this woman with her tax-office desk.
— Yeah, you’re a driver. How the hell? You were supposed to hit, not die yourself. — She rolled her eyes and tapped something on the keyboard. — Well, whatever. Since you’re already here, guess you’ll have to take that poor bastard’s place in another world.
My name was Randy Miller, I was a long-haul truck driver, 38 years old, three divorces, four loans, and not a single damn day of retirement. I didn’t even get how it all happened — I was just driving home like usual, decided to grab a bite on the way, small town diner, and then this kid in a green tracksuit pops up out of nowhere. I swerved, and then… next thing I knew, I was standing here, scratching my huge beer belly.
— Oh, don’t get all upset, — the gum-chewing lady didn’t even pretend to sound sorry, — you weren’t gonna last long anyway, by the looks of it. Heart attack in eight years, lonely as hell. And hemorrhoids. — She added that with some special smugness, tapping the keyboard again.
— Hey, wait… Can I… I mean, get out of this? I didn’t even wanna die! — I couldn’t tell if this was a joke or if she was dead serious.
— Nope. — She snapped her gum, staring at the screen. — But you can reboot. New life. New body. The “Isekai Randomizer” system is ready. Hit the button and find out who you’ll be.
A big, glowing red button appeared on the desk with the words Spin the Wheel of Fate written on it.
— What the hell is this circus? — I snorted, eyeing the button. — Is this some kinda joke? What damn randomizer?
— Just press it, we got a line here, — she leaned back in the chair with a sigh. — Or you can stay a frozen cursor on a white screen forever.
I exhaled loudly, scratched my belly — instinctively, like always when I got nervous. But now, even my beer gut didn’t feel familiar anymore. Something inside me was screaming that I was signing up for some serious bullshit. But hey, better than death, right?
— Alright, screw it, — I muttered and slammed my hand down on the button.
Suddenly, a huge spinning wheel appeared, like I’d landed in some cheesy 80s game show, and it started spinning fast. I couldn’t even keep track of the letters or what was written there, but after a while, it stopped, and the arrow pointed to something called LonaRPG.
— What the… — I frowned, squinting at the text.
The woman, same as before, lazily raised her eyes, looked at me, then at the screen. And then, that dumb grin spread across her face — the kind I swear I’ll never forget. She looked at me again, then back at the screen, like double-checking — and suddenly, so loud I thought my eardrums would burst, she burst out laughing.
— Oh my god… LonaRPG! Man, you’re screwed! — she sobbed with laughter, wiping tears from her eyes. — Jesus, you are so screwed!
I instinctively took a step back, feeling something brush against my neck. I touched it — hair. My hair. The clothes on me started to shift, changing along with my body. I barely managed to mutter — what the hell…, realizing how my voice was changing mid-sentence, like someone pumped helium straight into my lungs...