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My finger froze at the edge of my thigh, not daring to move even a millimeter higher, like the fate of the world depended on it. The fingers of my other hand nervously fidgeted with the hem of the way-too-short skirt — why the hell did I even wear this thing? I kept trying to hold my knees together, even though I knew that only made it more obvious how… small I was. Narrow. Fragile. And completely out of place.
What a fucking idiot I am, who even acts like this? I’d been giggling the whole damn night, not even knowing why, laughing at everything he said. I couldn’t come up with a single thing to say myself, totally lost. He’s probably disappointed in me now. God, pull yourself together, what the hell is wrong with you! You’re still Mark Rivers on the inside, goddamn it — a 35-year-old cocky womanizer with a flawless startup portfolio and women changing faster than the seasons, the kind of guy who could drop anyone into bed with a single look. Why the fuck am I shaking like this, with goosebumps crawling all over me?! — I screamed at myself in my head, digging my fingers into my knee, like that could somehow hold back the feeling spreading inside me… no, it wasn’t fear, it was worse. It was excitement. Pure, ringing, girlish excitement that sent warmth surging to my throat and made my lips start trembling on their own.
— You okay, Mel? — said Tyler, and I fucking flinched like I got startled, turning toward him just as strands of my long hair slid across my cheeks. He was looking at me — attentively, warmly, and way too… genuinely. And me? I could barely breathe.
Too close. He was sitting way too close. I could feel his shoulder next to mine, feel how the thin fabric of my hoodie did nothing to shield me from the heat coming off him like a wave. And in that moment, I realized: my brain — the adult one, the rational, restrained one — it just couldn’t handle this. I was scared, truly scared, because I didn’t know what to say. Because I could feel my knees trembling, and my lips were dry. Because I, goddamn it, was blushing. I was really blushing.
— E-e-every…thing’s f-fine — I croaked out and turned away immediately. Goddamn it, Melody — no, Mark — remember who the hell you are! Remember who you were just six months ago. Yeah, maybe you’re stuck in this ridiculous girl’s body, but you still know how to keep your cool, you still remember how you made millions, how...