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— I... — Jessica tried to say something again, but the words got stuck in her throat.
She looked at the spirit, then at Dan, who was clenching his fists, but remained silent. The whole situation seemed so unreal that Jessica could no longer tell where her perception ended and reality began. Everything Emma had said about her past, about who she used to be — now it seemed true. She understood that this wasn’t just an imagination game or some illusion.
But despite all of this, looking at the girl next to her now, Jessica saw Emma — alive, real, the one who had truly become her best friend over this time. They’d been through so much together, and though this Emma wasn’t the same as she once was, it was still Emma. Jessica had accepted her for who she was, with every action and word, with every unexpected change, and now this bond felt something important, almost sacred to her.
— Jess... — Emma squeezed her hand. For the first time in Dan’s presence, her voice didn’t sound sarcastic, mocking, but… simply sincere. — Please.
Jessica took a deep breath. She felt that this was the most important moment. One word — and everything would change.
She looked at Emma, so close. She could change everything. Bring Mark back. Erase Emma. But did she want to do that?
Suddenly, Jessica realized she was scared. Scared that if Emma disappeared — her best friend would disappear too. The girl she had laughed with, fought with, shared secrets with. And who was this Mark?
In her head, the realization hit that she only knew about him what Emma had told her. How did he live? What was he like? Could they still be friends if everything went back to how it was? And what if Emma disappeared forever?
Emma was an important part of her life. Yes, at times she could be unbearable, sometimes even rude and sharp. There were things about her that Jessica never understood, and that seemed strange. But she was real. And Jessica knew that if she said the wrong words now, this Emma would be gone.
But did she have the right to decide?
The spirit remained silent, waiting for her answer.
Jessica’s fingers trembled in Emma’s hand. Her thoughts were in chaos.
— I... I can’t, — she finally whispered.
— What? — Emma’s voice was tense, trembling.
— I don’t know if this is right... — Jessica shook her head, her gaze drifting somewhere off to the side. — What if you... what if you disappear, Emma?!
Jessica’s eyes filled with tears. She squeezed Emma’s hand, her fingers tightening as if trying to hold her in place, not letting her disappear from her life. Her mind was a mix of fear and excitement, a desire to help, and the awareness of possible loss.
— Jess, but you see it! You see that this is real, that I’m not crazy? I really was a man, Mark, and... — Emma hastily blurted out, her voice growing more insistent, almost pleading.
Jessica, holding Emma’s hand, sighed softly, her eyes brimming with tears, but deep inside them, there was confusion, almost pain.
— I know, — her voice barely shook. — But you... you don’t want to go back to that... old Mark, do you? You’re not that anymore. You’ve become so different, Emma. You... you’re strong, independent. You’ve been through so much. You’re not the person you were before.
Emma remained silent, her eyes darkening as she realized that Jessica was right. That Mark — the 35-year-old man with a bunch of complexes and loneliness — was a part of her, but no longer her entire being. The man who hid behind a masculine mask, who felt lonely, weak, full of insecurity inside… But now all that seemed so distant, almost foreign.
— I understand that you’re scared, — Jessica continued, her fingers tightening around Emma’s hand. — But... look at how much you’ve changed! You’ve become so... cool. We’ve been through so much this year, at school, with Maddy, with Dan... You’ve shown everyone that you can be strong, independent. I’m proud of you.
Emma felt the pain tighten in her chest, but she couldn’t respond. It was too much for her. Now, it was as if she didn’t even know what she really wanted. Everything had gotten mixed up in her head, and she couldn’t tell what mattered more — going back to the past or staying in the present.
— Emma, do you hear me? — Jessica shook her by the shoulder again, her voice trembling, tears frozen in her eyes. — You can’t forget this! We’ve been through so much, we’ve become... family. You want to throw all of that away? You want to become some Mark again?
— Don’t talk about me like that! — Emma pulled away sharply, as if those words had hit her at her most sensitive spot. She lifted her chin, her face freezing into a harsh mask, but her lips quivered, revealing inner turmoil.
— You don’t even understand what you’re saying! — she continued, her hand trembling as if trying to hold back an urge to lash out. She clenched her fingers, as if trying to stop herself from snapping. Her head was buzzing from everything that was happening around her. — You’re talking about it like it’s some imaginary figure in your head, like a joke, but... that wasn’t just some “Mark,” Jessica! That was me.