"By the way," said Michelle, slurping loudly from her straw. "How about a little joke?"

Audrey wasn't really into jokes, but what was she supposed to say? "Sure."

The mulatto girl leaned conspiratorially forward, and most of the diner disappeared behind the dense wheel of curls that circled her head. "I learned this one at a sorority party. It's kinda crude."
There was a pause. The redhead girl called Audrey realised that her interlocutor was waiting for a response. "Go ahead," she said. "Getting married hasn't turned me into a total prude just yet."
Michelle's mouth split in a wide grin, baring two rows of pearl-white teeth. "Alright. So, the girl who came up with this had big boobs, like bigger than mine and yours together, okay? And men just wouldn't stop staring and commenting."

"Poor thing."

"Well, next time that happens to you, try this. First," she slipped a French-nailed hand under her tank top and pulled out one breast, "you give 'em a little taste of what they want." The other breast followed.
Audrey felt a blush mount into her freckled cheeks, and she tried to keep her face impassive at the sight. Michelle was wearing no bra. Her nipples were small and unsurprisingly dark, looking like two chocolate chips atop the girl's creamy brown skin.
"You tease them and play a little, like this." Michelle pressed her fingers on her nipples, squashing her breasts, and began to massage herself in circular motions. She closed her eyes, purring, her long lips creased up in a smirk. Audrey looked around nervously, wishing her old friend from high school would get to the point soon.
"And then..." the mixed girl reopened her eyes, only that now they were not her eyes anymore, but a pair of buttons or something that gave her face a creepy doll-like appearance and made Audrey jump in her seat, "... you go hello, my nipples are up here!"
Michelle emphasized the last line by pointing at her face with both hands. In doing so she fully exposed her breasts again, and Audrey had to cover her own mouth to keep from screaming: there was a pair of big goggly eyes there, where the nipples should have been. They were very lively rolling in all directions, independently from each other like a chameleon's.

"Holy... crap!" The redhead couldn't help herself. As she fully and truly took in what she was seeing, she realized that the buttons above her friend's nose were, in fact, her nipples. They had stiffened, and now they looked as wood-like in hardness as they did in color.
Michelle started laughing, a laugh that shook her shoulders and her black-eyed breasts.

"Ow," Audrey cringed. "Please, stop it, I can't look at you!"

Still chuckling, the mulatto girl put her freak-show breasts back where they belonged. In a blink, her eyes reappeared into their sockets. "Funny little trick, isn't it," she said as she leaned to take another sip of her milkshake.
A moment of silence went by before she looked up across the table. "Well?" she said, chewing on her straw. "You look upset. What's on your mind?"

Audrey shook her head, all mixed up inside. "Holy... that was so weird." She wished she could have unseen the whole thing, but at the same time there was a part of her that felt intrigued. "How did you do it?"

Michelle sat back. "It's pretty simple, really." Her nipples, still hard, were obvious under her tightly stretched top. "Just takes a bit of practice to get it working smoothly. I could teach you, if you want."

"Teach me?"

"Yup. Wanna give it a go?"

"I- I don't know."

"Come on, don't be shy."

Audrey was blushing again. "It's just that... I mean, it's really, really weird, you realize that?"

"That's the fun of it, sweetie."

The redhead sighed. Her old friend wasn't just saying it, she really meant to teach her. "It doesn't hurt, does it? 'Cause if it does, I'm out."

Michelle laughed her off. "Why would it hurt?"

"I don't know, it looked kinda painful to me."

"You don't feel a thing, trust me," she said with a flutter of her hand. "It does mess up with your vision, if you really have to know. Plus you can't blink, so, yeah, that can be annoying. I mean, technically you can blink, but it doesn't do anything. So, you don't wanna be like that for too long. But it's fun, I'm telling you."

Audrey sighed again, louder and longer than before. "You're such a big weirdo. You know that, don't you?"

"Of course. That's why you need me so much in your life."

Defeated, the redhead giggled.

***

Audrey was a quick learner, but she was also, indeed, quite the shy type. She spent many hours practicing at the bathroom's mirror, taking selfies that she would promptly delete, before she finally mustered the courage to try out her new trick with her hubby. His reaction was pretty unlike anything Audrey had expected, but that doesn't mean she had no fun from that.
She and her hubby had, in fact, plenty fun that night.
And the next.
And many nights after that.