Yeah, sure, I'm an evil mind controller. It's not like you didn't already know that...unless you happen to be a woman whose feet are bare and whose brain I've washed, in which case it's something you didn't know, and you'll now forget.

Anyway, being what I am doesn't mean that I don't care. Sometimes, we all need to care. We all need to lend a hand. We all need to contribute to the solution, rather than the problem.

And right now, the problem is a big one. We're facing a fast spreading virus on a scale not yet seen in our modern world. You didn't need me to tell you that. You already knew it...even if you are a woman with bare feet and a washed brain, courtesy of yours truly.

The question is, what can I do to help? I asked myself this. And then, quite surprisingly, someone else asked me, too.

Her name is Kathy Nguyen. She works for the governor, and she contacted me via a note here on DA. Here is a summary of what she said:

Despite the governor shutting down all the beaches (along with all non-essential businesses), some people were ignoring his directive to stay off them. The most prevalent offenders were female college students, who were home from school now that classes were canceled. They were young, healthy, and seemed to think they were immune, which of course they weren't. Given my particular skill set and resources, would I be willing and able to persuade this misguided group to leave the beaches and stay home, as they had been directed to do?

I replied that I would.

Kathy thanked me and said she'd send me the details. I suggested a video chat, instead of typing messages back and forth. She agreed and set one up. We chatted. I got the information. And then, I got to work.

I'm not going to go into how I procured the first batch of four attractive young women who I'm now persuading to follow government mandates, and also to act smarter and safer during this crisis. Suffice it to say, I have my methods.

But I will let you have a peak at them, to see how they're responding to my persuasion.

Here we go, into my lab. It's big enough to house four subjects, while keeping them two meters apart from one another, as per the guidelines of social distancing. Each subject reclines on one of my specially designed couches. Well, I call them "couches," but I suppose "articulated examination tables with built in restraints" would be more accurate if one wanted to split hairs.

Anyway, here are the girls, each one strapped to a couch, still in their beachwear, barefoot (of course!), and with my proprietary control caps fitted snugly over their scalps.

The girl here on the right is the last one placed here. She is thrashing about, clenching and unclenching her fists, scrunching and splaying her toes. And all the while, she cries out, No! No! Stop it! Let me go! Why is she doing that? Is she hurt? Is she being tortured?

No, she is fine. She is in the induction phase, where the control cap slowly subverts her will and heightens her suggestibility. The process isn't unpleasant, per se, but she clearly doesn't want to go along with it. Of course, she also didn't want to go along with the governor's directive, which should tell you something. No matter, because soon enough, she will calm down, then she will drift off to sleep, and then I will persuade her to do what's best for herself and others.

The other three girls are much farther along in the process. They have long since been induced, are fast asleep, and are undergoing a thorough brainwashing. If we get just a little bit closer, we can hear that they are muttering something. Can you make out what they're saying?

I will follow the governor's directives concerning the pandemic...I will stay off the beaches...I will practice social distancing...I will insist that all my friends do the same...I will follow the governor's directives concerning the pandemic...I will stay off the beaches...I will practice social distancing...I will insist that all my friends do the same....

There you have it. I'm doing my part to help out in this time of need.

Oh, are the girls saying something else? Yes, I believe that they are.

Cyril is my master...I will obey Cyril...When the crisis is over, I will return to Cyril so that I may serve him and--

Well, anyway, you get the idea. Did you expect something different? Just because I'm helping out, doesn't mean that I can't get something in return for my efforts. After all, I'm not getting paid by the state to do this. 

Although, truth be told, Kathy is rendering payment for my services.

You see, when we had our video chat, I saw that she was very attractive. So I hypnotized her using a subliminal overlay on the conferencing app. It turns out she is as suggestible as she is beautiful.

She likes to check up on me regularly, to see my progress with the girls. Every time she does, she sits back and puts her bare feet up, with her soles facing the Webcam. She doesn't realize that she's doing this, nor that she is agreeing with every statement that I make. And she certainly doesn't realize that when the crisis ends, she will feel an overwhelming compulsion to visit me in person. Then, just like the other girls, she will serve and obey me as my barefoot, brainwashed slave.

Like I said before, I'm an evil mind controller. It's not like you didn't already know that...unless you happen to be a woman whose feet are bare and whose brain I've washed, in which case it's something you didn't know, and you'll now once again forget.