Corporal Korsica Kord of the Cosmo Corps
in

The Brain in Zpain Washes Mainly Down the Drain


Oh, here you are. Finally. It's already started. Grab a seat. There's a drink for you on the table, and I made enough popcorn for both of us. Yeah, you missed the teaser before the credits. And, jeez, you missed last week, too. Sure, sure, I'll fill you in on what happened.

Remember the episode from two weeks ago? Yeah, the one that ended with Korsica having been brainwashed into a zombie slave drone, totally obedient to Dr. Diablus. Well, in last week's episode, he sent her back to the Cosmo Corps for a sabotage mission. No one suspected her, as she planted viruses in their computer systems and sent their top secret data back to her master. It was crazy! I thought the Corps was doomed!

But then, one of the Corpswomen on the night shift saw Korsica sleepwalking barefoot into the control center. The guard caught her in the act of sabotaging the computers. They branded her a traitor. Yikes is right!

Thankfully, Professor Juliana Wackerdootz was visiting the HQ, and she sat in on the preliminary interrogation. With her expertise in space psychology and solar brain disorders, she determined that Korsica wasn't acting in her right mind and had probably been brainwashed to carry out those horrible deeds.

Oh, the credits are almost over! Let me finish up: So, Wackerdootz asked that they remand Korsica into her custody for deprogramming at the Main Brain Facility she runs at Zpain. The Corps did just that. And now, at the beginning of this episode, they showed Korsica back in her right mind but not yet finished with therapy. She asked when she would be released, and the professor said not yet. Okay, it's starting, here we go...

"Crud cakes and mud muffins," Korsica says. "I still can't leave? You've broken me free of Diablus's control, and you've restored all my memories. What else do you need to do before I can go back on active duty?"

She's sitting on her bed in the Main Brain Facility, wearing only her Corps-issued longjanes and a dejected pout. Wackerdootz stands over her, making notations on an electro-tablet.

"Patience, my patient," the professor says soothingly, patting Korsica's bare foot. "Your therapy is almost complete. One or two more sessions, and you'll be right as rain. I'm pretty sure we can have you out of here by tomorrow, or the day after that at the latest. Then, you'll be sailing through the stars, busting bad guys, and righting wrongs once again."

"Hip-hyperspace-hooray!" Korsica responds cheerily.

Wackerdootz gives her a smile and a thumbs-up, then turns and exits the room. Korsica begins to--wait a second! Did you see that? When Wackerdootz walked away? You didn't? Jeez, you need to pay better attention. I'm pretty sure--no, I'm positive!-- that the professor wasn't wearing shoes. She was barefoot. Well, no, I don't know what it means. But's it odd, isn't it? I mean, she's on duty, talking with her patient. She's not in a bath, or at a pool, or lounging at home. It's strange, and it must mean something.

Well, whatever it means, the scene has changed now. It's nighttime. Korsica is still in her bed and still wearing her longjanes. She's sleeping, but she's tossing and turning. She's even kicked off all of her covers. Poor Korsica! Tomorrow or the day after can't come soon enough.

Suddenly, an eerie green light floods the room. Korsica starts awake and sits up.

"Huh? What? What's going on?" she asks.

The door to her room opens, and Professor Wackerdootz enters. She's wearing her uniform, but look! Now you can clearly see that she's barefoot! What the heck?

"Don't be alarmed," Wackerdootz says. "It's time for your last therapy session. After this, you'll be all cured, and you can go home."

"My last session? In the middle of the night? Okay, if you say so."

Wackerdootz nods her affirmation. Then she claps once. In response, the green light begins to pulse rhythmically. At the same time, a series of tones and buzzes fills the room, playing to the same, pulsing beat.

"Just relax, Korsica," Wackerdootz says. "Relax and listen to the music."

Her voice has a gentle, lulling quality to it.

"Relax," Korsica says. "And listen to the music..."

Therapist and patient repeat the mantra several more times. Each time, Korsica sounds more lulled, more sleepy. Finally, her eyes droop closed and her jaw goes slack. She sits perfectly still, except for her fingers and toes, which twitch in time with the lights and sounds.

So, Wackerdootz is using hypnotherapy to deprogram Korsica? Huh. Interesting.

"Korsica, can you hear me?" Wackerdootz asks.

"Yes, I can hear you," Korsica says in a monotone drawl.

"Are you the slave of Dr. Diablus?"

"No, I am not the slave of Dr. Diablus."

"Are you under his influence or control in any way?"

"No, I am not under his influence or control in any way."

Well, the hypnosis seems to be working. Korsica says she's not under Diablus's control any more, and she can't lie because she's hypnotized.

"Are you under anyone's control?" Wackerdootz asks.

Come on, Korsica, say you're not under anyone's control! You're cured! Clean bill of health! You can go home and be a Corpswoman again!

"I am under the control of Lady Eve Ville," Korsica says.

"Are you Lady Eve Ville's slave?" Wackerdootz asks. "Do you serve and obey her?"

Wait, what?

"Yes, I am Lady Eve Ville's slave," Korsica says. "I serve and obey her."

"Good, Korsica, very good. You are an excellent slave for our mistress, just as I am. She is very pleased. You will meet her soon. But first, let's make sure that you remember and forget all the things you're supposed to..."

WHAT? I can't believe it! That's not hypnotherapy! It's hypno-brainwashing! Poor Korsica. It's out of the frying pan and into the fire for her. Who would've thought that Professor Wackerdootz herself was a brainwashed thrall of Eve Ville? And that she would re-brainwash poor Korsica for that villain? Not me, that's for sure.

All right, all right, I'll pipe down so you can watch what happens. Sorry!
 
Wackerdootz begins testing Korsica's conditioning, ensuring that the heroine remembers being deprogrammed, not reprogrammed. Korsica mindlessly answers all the questions correctly, showing that her memories have been appropriately altered and proving that she's now an unknowing sleeper agent for the most vile woman in the galaxy.

"You are now ready to meet our mistress," Wackerdootz finally says with a proud smile.

She claps once. The tones and buzzes stop, and the green light changes to normal white. Then, she snaps once.

Korsica blinks. She shakes her head, flexes her toes, and then opens her eyes. For just a second, she looks confused. But then, she grins contentedly.

"Is that it, Professor?" she asks hopefully. "Am I cured?"

"You're right as rain and never better. Now, come with me. It's time to take you...home."

"Hip-hyperspace-hooray!" Korsica says.

Our heroine jumps out of bed and gives Wackerdootz a big hug. Then, the two barefoot, brainwashed slaves walk out of the room together.

And now the end credits are rolling. No! I want more! I want to see what happens! Because I don't know how the heck Korsica is going to get out of this one.

So, same time next week? Great! But how about you bring the popcorn for a change?