Author’s note: this is a fan work from the manga/anime series of the same name, and as such is likely subject to out-of-character interpretations, plot inconsistencies, or various other discrepancies in the lore of the series proper.
6 PM, present time
“Ah man! After cleaning up from our heavy lunch earlier I think I’ll go and take a break in my room.” Darling sighed in exhaustion. Between fixing up the dishes, washing the plates, and throwing out the trash, the human had grown haggard and sat up from his chair appreciating his accomplishments before leaving the lounge area.
“Go ahead Dar-Mr. New Hire! We’ll be of serendipitous intent even without you here.” Miia eloquently responded.
“Pap-I’ll play some games with Miru. It’s our break time too.” The feather-haired girl said.
“Suu-I agree. I’m so glad that you’ve helped us out so much today, Mr. New Hire~” Grabbing some controllers, they turned on the TV and set up the game console.
“Hold on, you two! I want to-anoint myself into the rank and file of your little skirmish.” The snake-eared lady challenged.
“Uh, sure? Pap-I don’t mind.”
“Go for it, Chizu-San~”
With the three of them on the couch, the games could begin! But we’ll leave them to it and instead go see someone else…
“Maybe I’ll sneak in another snack since I’m still kind of-plumb hungry…” Cerea pondered. As she went for a box of cereal on a countertop, she saw something truly amiss!
“KYAAAHHH!! Cathyl’s body…it’s become headless!” Cream screamed.
*pop!*
“Fear not! You may-CAN IT ALREADY! I’m only hiding in between these tits of mine cause I prefer it that way.” The cerulean skinned head grunted.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s my turn to eat.” Angrily plopping her head out from betwixt her bosom and onto the table, she poured the breakfast essential into a bowl and fed herself assertively with her powerful, tan arms.
“See? *munch* *munch* Was that so hard? All I’m missing is some milk…(I wonder if they’ll notice me sneaking some dairy from my breasts…just a little bit wouldn’t hurt, right?)
“Mmmph~”
*leak* *leak*
“(Phew! No one cared enough to look! That would have been WAY to embarrassing otherwise…)” Now the dark-eyed dweller could partake in her supplementary supper to perfection.
“(Good golly-Damn girl. You’re one kinky bitch sometimes.)”
“(Oh my-gosh! That was WAY too lewd!)” Because Cream and Cerea were still in the same room as her, the two of them just barely saw the dim nipples of their cow-bodied acquaintance get covered up by Lala’s enormous tank top.
Meanwhile, in another corner of the lounging area Cara, Ruto, and Rachnera were congregating.
“……….”
“……….”
“……….”
Awkwardly, I should add.
“…sooo, you two get your jobs-d-d-done properly?” Rachnera bashfully asked.
“Ah! I-Papi did her job right! She put all the milk in the dairy salon! It tasted so delicious~” The winged woman excitedly recounted.
“Sounds more like-a 88% chance of failure to Cara.”
“Hahahaha! Oh, sorry! It’s just so funny that-I would have been m-m-mortified too…” The six-eyed cow-spider shuddered at the last moment.
“I-It’s alright really! I-Papi didn’t mean for things to get hairy like that!”
“You’ll be the one taking responsibility though, Papi.” Cara chastised.
“Our group got-acquired all the necessary materials with no disadvantageous issues at least.”
“Oh? Good for you, Suu. W-We also did okay…probably…” Rachnera turned away from the duo out of shyness, smacking Ruto in the face unintentionally with her massive chest as well.
“Owch! That hurt! (And yet…it feels like those boobies are kind of familiar somehow…)”
As you can see, this group’s strength certainly was not in small talk. Hence why we’ll be moving onto a different duo.
“Wait up, Cerea!”
“Hmm? To what do I owe the pleasure of speaking to you for, Saane?”
Chizu and Mero were near a bookshelf filled with farming manuals, guides, and pamphlets advertising the Black Lily Ranch.
“Could you perhaps-use that sultry body of yours to grab that book at the top of that bookshelf for little old me?” Mero winked suggestively, leaning forward to expose some brown cleavage.
“Very well! Consider the deed done! But don’t you already know about the inner workings of this domain?” Chizu questioned.
“I was simply curious on researching how to-make this place my own personal harem!” The satyr-maid shouted with maybe a little too much glee.
“That’s an odd request even for someone like you, Saane. I won’t stand for such belligerent nonsense!” Chizu stood her ground and refused to help out, trotting elsewhere on her horse hooves.
“Oh my! All I said was-that I’m feeling pretty horny right now! Tee hee~” The prim and proper girl scandalously announced.
Finally, observing all of the ongoing chaos were Miru and Cathyl.
“Goodness, those harlots are getting too hotheaded for their own good!” Miru fiercely protested.
“I agree, Miia. But don’t you think it’s-somewhat presumptuous of us to try and get in their way too early?” Cathyl deliberated.
“What do you mean?”
“Mmmm…I dunno…just that it feels like everything I know is-quite alright, as a matter of fact~”
“Okay then Mero…whatever floats your mansion-sized boat.” Miru shrugged for lack of a better conversation topic.
Regardless, the Black Lily Ranch and its inhabitants continued to enjoy their reprieve from their busy work day prior, despite having the mismatched bodies of their compatriots. However, one could argue that their collective lack of concern over “getting back to normal” was a major detriment…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Hmm…for as much as I lauded your retrieval of the scythe, it’s been a while since I’ve used it’s full capabilities…” Proserpine muttered to herself. Sitting in some of the mansion’s lavish chairs near the elder devil sipping on what else, but some freshly brewed passion fruit tea were Saane and Lilith. They had calmed down enough to warrant being within ten feet of the lecherous lady.
“If I may offer a suggestion Miss, I think it would be hilarious to see Mr. New Hire perish from intercourse with his own vapid harem due to the scythe’s powers!” The satyr snarled.
“S-SAANE! I-I-I’m sorry Mother, you’ll have to forgive her! I have no clue what’s gotten into--”
“Cease your language. It’s not the worst idea in the world.”
“…what?” Lilith was flabbergasted at that sentence. Things hardly EVER went this smoothly between the lesser devil and her parental figure.
“Think about it logically. Us beings of pure lust have dedicated ourselves to the harvesting of mankind’s semen for countless millennia. It would only be delicious irony to have that wretched good-hearted Dullahan wring his life out in the very same illicit manner we have.” Proserpine explained, lips pursed together evilly.
“See? Us goats know a thing or two regarding sex and how disastrous it can be to their pelvises!”
“Ahahaha…”
*jab*
“(Oof! What was that for?)”
“(Do you know how damn lucky you are that you didn’t get mind-wiped just now?!?)” Lilith whispered.
“(What? Sex appeals to devils and always will.)”
“(Rrgh! I just don’t want my new lover to become a comatose vegetable on day fucking one while she still has someone else’s body is all!)”
“(Okay, fine! I’ll shut up and nut up for a bit.)”
Grumbling internally, Saane pouted and crossed her arms under what was originally not her chest.
“Now then, I’ll make use of the scythe and end his life where he stands right this instant!”
Standing up from her regal throne, Proserpine walked to a wide-open area of the room and charged up the deathly device with her own magic. Exhibiting a mixture of both pitch-black flames and nauseatingly pink vapor, it seemed ready for use!
“FORCES FROM BEYOND THIS MORTAL COIL! HEED MY COMMAND, AND ANNIHILATE THE CONFUSION LATENT TO THIS REALITY!!”
*SLASH!*
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
“Ahahaha-hmm?”
“What’s up Chizu?”
“For some reason it feels like my head’s cleared itself up of all considerable doubt.”
“You too?”
“I’ll third that sentiment, girls~”
Miia, Papi, and Suu had finished their game and were putting away the nick-knacks associated with it.
“That was a most impressive bout of fury displayed! I’ll have to increase my skills if I wish to stand a chance of duking it out on a level playing field next time!”
“Too many words. Brain hurts.”
“Cara! How could you ruin our good mood? Guess somebody won’t be getting the victory reward I’ve been making in the background~”
“Even though I won? That sounds like bull.”
“Recall that we are the lactating type of Minotaur and not the bullfighting variety.”
“…Chizu, no offense, but who asked?”
Papi furrowed her sky-blue brows as Suu laughed aloud at the Miia’s typical atmosphere killer.
“Ahhh…I’m a lot less angry now that I’ve eaten some cereal and milk!”
“Right on! Now could ya please scoot aside and let me have some grub as well?”
“Yeah Ms. Black-and-Blue, some of us have things to do aside from twiddling our oversized thumbs.”
“Oh, sure.”
Lala hoofed her head between her honkers and made haste, allowing Cerea and Cream the privilege of chowing down.
“…so you cowgirls always just whip your tits out for mundane stuff like what Cathyl did?”
“Hwhat?!? S-S-Sometimes if I’m feeling doggone lazy I suppose…”
“Me personally? I’d probably never want to drink milk again if I knew that one of my friends was the one who squirted it out of her boobs.”
“Y’see Rachnera, she’s the boss of our rigorous operations here at the Black Lily Ranch so she’s allowed a bit of leeway when it comes to how she spends her free time, exposed or otherwise.”
“I see.”
“P-Plus, don’t tell no one…but I secretly admire them. I wish mine could be that huge someday…”
“Good for you, but I don’t want or need to relate to a girl with breasts twice the size of both mine and her head.”
“Oh, ahahaha…you wouldn’t understand.”
Munching pensively in silence, Cerea and Cream had nowhere else to steer their strange thoughts…
“Ahhhhh!! Papi just realized something important!”
“Gah! D-Don’t be so loud! My ears are p-p-pretty sensitive…”
“Do pardon Suu’s best friend for her brashness. What is so critical, Papi?”
“Pluto’s body…it must be…feeling pretty sore! Can she do anything to make it feel better?”
“R-Really, have no fear! M-M-My body has always been this way, so t-tough and strong that r-r-roaming on my day off will fix me r-right up…s-s-still, t-thanks for caring about someone like me…”
“Interspecies Cultural Exchange laws prohibit the ability of truly roaming about as you wish without proper work documentation though.”
“Ah dang it! Papi forgot that!”
Ruto, Rachnera, and Cara had broken the ice on their dairy-I mean, "dreary" conversation at the very least and were chatting like nothing could go wrong.
“Miia! Mero! Can’t you two bring some sense into that uncouth fiend over yonder?”
“Haah? And why should I care?”
“Now, now, Miia, don’t act so childish. What seems to be the issue, Cerea?”
“Saane is attempting diatribe of devilish deeds!”
“Ah come on, I only wanted to ride her bareback-I MEAN horseback style!”
Mero grinned fiercely, her slip-up made even more apparent by how suspicious she was acting.
“Hold it! Everyone knows that riding on a centaur’s back unless you’re their master is heavily frowned upon in society! Or do you need a tail slap to remind you of that fact, you horned tart?”
“Stay put, Miia. I’ll handle this one.”
“Please reprimand her, Mero.”
Cathyl then wheeled herself over to Mero with a stern yet gentle look.
“Saane, as a member of the royal Du Neptune family I out of everyone know to follow strict customs and traditions of other species when in private settings, so could you do that as well? For me?”
“…tch! Fine. But only because your serious face is too cute. I wholeheartedly apologize to Cerea, and with zero lewdness which is a rarity for us satyr. So take it as seriously as I am, alright?”
“Mhm! You have been forgiven just this once!”
“Ugh, finally! Now can we please stop bickering and do something else?”
Miru was growing agitated at Chizu and Mero’s arguing when suddenly--
*BING!* *BONG!* *BONG!* *BING!*
“Attention all residents! The bathhouse is now open for evening use! I repeat! You may now use the bathhouse at this time!”
“Awesome! I’ve been meaning to clean myself up for ages!”
“I too find it splendid to splash in the water some~”
“Isn’t that swell for you two? But I as a centaur have to tip toe every which way just to avoid slipping and breaking a valued leg!”
“Hmm…maybe we could invite everyone into the bathhouse with us? As thanks for all their hard work!”
Mero mentioned offhandedly.
“Eh, why not? Nothing wrong with having a pool party.”
Out of nowhere, Lala had made herself a grand entrance!
“Cathyl? HYAAAAAHHHH!!”
“Oh dear, it seems like Miia has fainted on the spot.”
“…care to explain why your head’s in there…?”
“It suits my interests, and I feel more comfortable this way. Without further ado, HEY GIRLS! MANDATORY BATH TIME FOR ALL YOU DIRTY LADIES!!”
Hearing Lala’s booming shout, everyone in the lounge area made amends to the showering zone. After all, what was the worst that could happen in a peaceful place like that?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
7 PM, present time
“Is there any reason why Darling can’t come along and bathe with us?”
“Yeah! Why can’t Hubby see us naked?”
“T-T-That would be s-shameful!”
Entering the locker room next to the bathhouse were Miru, Ruto, and Rachnera undressing themselves.
“So? Pluto’s body is super beautiful!”
*grab!*
“HYAAAAHHHH!!!”
“PAPI! You can’t just fondle somebody like that!”
“Papi couldn’t help it! Her butt’s even bigger than mine is!”
“T-T-T-That’s only because I-I’m a larger girl t-than you are, Papi…i-i-if you keep doing stuff like t-that to me I-I’m not going to g-g-get any less timid…”
Underneath the six-eyed confident exterior her face possessed, Rachnera was a very sensitive and submissive woman.
“M-M-My body could lose c-control at any moment, and I might s-s-smack you so hard you’ll p-p-perish…”
“Ohhhh. Papi’s sorry then…”
“Ugh, you two can apologize later when we enter the bath proper.”
Miru slithered across the floor dragging Ruto by the scruff of her neck, lifting her with one hand and leaving Rachnera’s behind, well, behind.
Meanwhile, at a separate cubicle…
“To cleanse our vessels in the waters of life, such an honor is emblematic of prosperity itself!”
“We’re taking a bath. Nothing special.”
“Still, it’s not every day that guests like ours get to take a dip out in the countryside.”
Miia, Papi, and Lala were exposing their boisterous bovine bodies to the air around them.
“Speaking of, might our comrades not feel anything off-kilter about your naked forms? Cara’s head is a stark vanilla compared to her bronze stronghold…” Miia puzzled.
“If they have a problem with the way I look, then they can suck my fat fucking tits.” Papi blurted.
“Woah, didn’t expect that sort of rough language from someone so reserved like yourself! You have a bad day or something?” Lala interrogated.
“Wouldn’t you know, Cathyl? We got our boobs sucked like crazy by that little bluebird. All cause YOU didn’t schedule us for a miking.”
“Tch! Could you blame me? They needed to learn how to do things around here on a quick basis, and her harpy skull couldn’t have figured out the milking machines in time!”
“I can’t deny; the machinations here would drive any lesser being to udder confuzzlement.” Miia jested.
“……get out of here.”
“Hmm? Perchance Cathyl might not be in the breast of spirits? I merely figured that the reason you didn’t peruse the opportunity to use the devices was because you enjoyed--”
“I SAID GET OUT!!!”
“Very well then. Have fun resting your head on those milk bags of yours in the waters of life…”
Walking towards the exit of the locker room, Miia gave the two tan cows some space, swaying her tail back and forth in the process.
“…you gonna be alright?”
“Give me a moment.”
Placing her head face first into her chest, she screamed out any and all vitriolic words you could imagine.
Let’s check in on another group, shall we?
“A warrior should always make use of their free time to rest accordingly!”
“Suu only hopes that she can enter this H20 field without losing her sense of self.”
“Oh, I think you’ll be fine. It’s me that might melt at seeing your exposed bodies!”
Chizu, Cara, and Mero were the third group to make it to the locker rooms.
“Again you’ve followed me…why?”
“Well, it’s obvious! You’re the most gigantic girl out of all the guests here!”
“S-So! What does that have to do with anything?”
“It’s because I have a proposition to make; in return for living here with us, you’d get all the veggies you could ever ask for! And this is on top of finally being the smallest in your friend group! No longer would you be made fun of for your size in more than one sense of the word~” Mero suggested.
“R-Really? (Wait, I can’t lose my sense of self to a couple carrots! Milord is first and foremost in my priorities--)”
“Centorea is a valued member of our household, and it is ill advised for you to call any of the shots before they have been put in place.” Cara spoke up.
“Suu…”
“Hey girl, chill! I’m not forcing this onto her if he doesn’t want to join. I’m just saying that she’d be missing out on farm-fresh produce every day~” The satyr-mermaid whistled.
“The dietary habits of Centorea are of no concern to you. Now, let us be on our leave.”
“Y-Yes!”
Chizu clopped her hooves carefully on the slippery ground while Cara slicked along in her aquatic amorphous form, keeping note to leave her solid, brown face as intact as possible.
“Okay girls~ Let’s get wet!”
“Erm, phrasing!”
“I cannot wait to go somewhere more my speed~”
“Mmm…”
The final group to make their amends in the shower room were Suu, Cream, Cathyl, and Cerea.
“So, are you and your friends leaving our Black Lily Ranch tomorrow?” Suu wondered.
“I believe that is indeed the case. As much fun as it is to help out around here, we still have to write our reports to Ms. Smith and her crew of government agents.” Cathyl explained.
“About time honestly! That cheeky director has all of you on a leash, yet you ladies are all too content to stay here!” Cream rambled aloud.
“I don’t see the issue though? Our pay and benefits are through the roof, and we get to play with cute animals all day~” Suu said with a hint of glee.
“Plus, even taking out the field work we get…stuff done…that we’d need to do anyways.” Cerea elaborated, tilting her eyes away partway through her sentence.
“Oh, for crying out loud! You don’t gotta hide it anymore that you get your nipples teased all day for the sake of some nimrod’s business production! Doesn’t that bother you in the slightest?!?” Cream roared with anger.
“I-I DON’T MIND! I-If I stay here long enough…maybe one day I’ll grow up to be a minotaur with massive milkers like the bosses’…then they’ll be worthy enough to have a rodeo with.”
“So you’re only still here based on an inferiority complex; wonderful.”
“Ms. Rachnera…not everyone is as outgoing and independent as you are. The Black Lily Ranch is a place for many walks of life, and with you having eight legs that should apply to you eight times as much.”
“Don’t assume that you know everything about me, you vapid cu-”
“G-GIRLS, PLEASE! We came here to relax, did we not? Maybe some steam and a hot bath will clear our minds of any foul thoughts.” Cathyl intervened.
“Hrrmm…”
“Rrghh…”
“Siiighh…”
With moods disheartened, Suu carried Cathyl with her muscly arms into the bathhouse, patting her on the head with her hair tentacles in a way that implied “at least you tried”.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~