Author’s note: this is a fan work from the manga/anime series of the same name, and as such is likely subject to out-of-character interpretations, plot inconsistencies, or various other discrepancies in the lore of the series proper. I mean, it’s got magic and shit for crying out loud why would you complain?

As the clock dinged for what felt like forever, Crim was finally done working for the day. Making a “phew!” gesture at all their effort curtailing to both the customer’s demands and the cleanliness of the establishment itself, they fluttered along to write down their hours in the payroll.

“Ah, another long yet fulfilling shift has been completed! (All it took was my sanity levels lessening on multiple occasions…)”

Indeed, between the usual agitators in his group causing trouble, the regulars looking to take on or look over quests, and even the incendiary imbecile (with oddly innocuous propositions) posting their request, Crim was feeling more than tired to say the least.

“Nice work, Crim-Kun! I’ll be sure to put in a good word for you to the owner on dealing with all of those lecherous chumps!”

“Ah! T-T-Thank you very much, Meidri-San! But trust me, the guys weren’t all THAT much rowdier….”

“Crim-Kun, listen well. Men have no rights when it comes to thinking with their brains, so it’s up to us to fend off the many forces that invade this peaceful sanctuary.” Meidri whispered to the floating angel.

“They DO make up a good chunk of our profits, you know…don’t be so condescending to them…”

“Geez, Crim-Kun! You’re way too nice for your own good! If I had holy powers like yours I’d have exorcised around a hundred of our ‘patrons’ long ago, ahahaha!”

“(Just because angels are holy doesn’t mean we can perform purifying rituals on a whim…and she DOES notice my angel halo is still cracked, right?)”

Suddenly, the door to the tavern is promptly kicked open by who else but-

“ALRIGHT, YOU PIOUS PLAYBOY! WORK’S DONE SO THAT MEANS YOU CAN JOIN US FOR THIS NEW BROTHEL WE’RE GOING TO, YEAH?” Stunk barged on in with no regard to the swing door itself.

“Ugggh, I get it! Sorry Meidri-San, but I’ve gotta fly! You know, cause I’ve got wings on me, hehehehe!”

“…………”

“…………”

“…………”

Everyone disliked that.

“Humor might appeal to the ladies, but jokes like those need a solid place to rest unless you want them to crash-land on impact.” Stunk said, anointing himself as the ruler of comedy.

“Would you kindly leave already? IT’S. CLOSING. TIME.”

Stomping her talons in restrained anger, Meidri made her presence known with a smile that betrayed expectations and chilled the hearts of many men beforehand.

“Oi, we’re off then! The other two are waiting outside as well so there’s no point in waiting any longer!”

“Yes! Take care Meidri-San!”

Finally hitting the road, the human and angel met up with Zel and Kanchal to discuss their plan of action.

“Took ya long enough, ‘boner of my sword’ my left nut!” Zel mouthed off.

“We need as much time as we can get to figure out what to expect when we get to this new joint for John’s like ourselves, you dinky dirtbag!” Kanchal simultaneously snarled and signaled to the group.

“Cut it out with all the jabs, would ya? It ain’t my fault that Crim over here adheres to a regular job!”

“(It’s not that I’m normal, it’s just that you guys are lazy bums most of the time…)”

Crim wasn’t technically wrong. When the gang weren’t doing actual quests and hero work resembling noble intentions, they were busy attempting to “cave in any crevices” they could catch their claws on.

“Bickering aside, if it’s another one of Grand Arch Mage Demia’s strange schemes chances are we’ll have to just expect the unexpected, and prepare for what isn’t there.”

“Wow, Zel! Who knew that you were such a poet?”

“(That’s just code for ‘I don’t have a plan!’ you vitriolic vessel of vigor!)” Kanchal somehow kept that nasty remark about Stunk to himself as the gang made their way over to what was sure to be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity….

Connecting with the Succu-Girls….

 “So Elza-San, care to divulge any juicy details from your bulge on what the theme for this brothel is?” Piltia flirtatiously asked. The four females were en-route to the eponymous ejaculation embassy, and the halfling was doing her best to get in the hyena’s way, including circling around her, poking her in various places, and even using her tiny tongue to-

“*BASH!*”

“Keep those hard-headed tactics up and I’ll drop kick you to the nearest hospital.”

“Elza-San! That sort of physical abuse is mooooortifying to see in the middle of the market!”

“Luckily for us, Ginny-San, she’s likely gotten rougher from her clients. She’ll be fine.”

Halflings as a race were thankfully given at least one strength to make up for their height, their hardiness. This made it so that most injuries that would incapacitate a human for example would only be a minor inconvenience to the half-pints at best.

“Taking advantage of racial attributes like that is cause for discrimination, you spotted slut!”

“Says the bitch in sheep’s clothing. Now you won’t get any more info outta me.”

“That’s fine, Elza-San! I do love me a good mooooostery myself!”

“I agree! At my age any new surprise is something to be treasured, ohohoho!”

As some of the girls gaffed and the others guffawed, they unknowingly run into-

“WOAH!”

“HEY!”

“WATCH IT!”

“OUCH!”

“DAMMIT!”

“THAT HURT!”

Somehow everyone fell into a pile of bodies, causing a mess around them and many awkward stares from the crowd.

“OI! WHO’S THE BROWN-NOSED BASTARD THAT RAN INTO-Oh wait a minute, it’s you guys!”

“What a coincidence, Mr. Human! Didn’t think you would show up around these parts!”

“Mitsue-San! What a lovely night to run into you, both figuratively and literally in this case!”

“Oh, Zel-San you charmer! Sticks and stones may break my bones but your words will always heal me!”

“Ah, come on! As the rogue of the group I should know better than to fall into a trap like this!”

“What can I say, I’m naturally booby-trapped as it is!”

“OMIGOSH, I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT! BESMIRCHING SOMEONE AS CAPTIVATING AS YOU HAS TO BE A CRIME SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD, HOW CAN I MAKE IT UP TO YOU?!?”

“…tryin to top someone like me might as well be one…idiot…”

Whether it was by divine fate or some other entity, it seems as though both the Interspecies Reviewers and the Succu-Girls were naturally paired off with each other, and not too far off from where the Gender Swap Inn was located at that!

True to the pamphlet, It was quite literally two doors down from the Gender Swap Inn. Unlike the sex conversion coochie cavern with its male and female symbols adorning the roof, the espoused upon “Swap-stitute Creature” had what looked like heads with question marks in them, slowly rotating each type out one by one at intermittent intervals.

“The red light district has real estate room for something THIS gaudy?” Stunk pondered aloud.

“If it really is that wacky witch who made this place into a reality, then there’s no reason not to assume the funds from the Magic Metropolis helped to contribute ‘funding’ as it were.” The shrewd small fry himself hypothesized.

The exterior was vaguely hypnotizing to watch, but the purpose of this establishment was located INSIDE the parameters, so both groups clacked their heels, feet, or otherwise into the unknown recesses of the latest fetish fun house….

“Ah, if it isn’t the heroic human and his lovely lady friends!”

“oH, AnD ThE HeRo’s SiDeKiCkS I SuPpOsE.”

Located at the receptionist’s desk was both the androgynous receptionist from the Gender Swap Inn and a Demia clone. A few feet away from them off to the side were some standard looking bottles on a table, with “GRAND ARCH MAGE DEMIA’S MAGIC POTION!” adorned as a banner above it.

“Figures it would be too much to ask for the real deal to show up herself…I was hoping to get an explanation for what we’re doing here.” Elza bemoaned.

“No worries, Elza-San! We’ll get to educating all of you on how this works in a moment!”

“AlThOuGh, iF YoU CaN’t UnDeRsTaNd BaSeD OfF BoTh ThE NaMe oF ThIs PlAcE AnD ThE FrOnT ArEa’S DeTaIls, ThErE’s nO HoPe FoR PeA-BrAiNs LiKe YoU, KyAhAhAhA!”

“(Are they attempting to do a good cop/bad cop routine? Or is this just a terrible comedy duo at work?)” Piltia thought to herself as she walked towards the vicinity of the viscous vials.

“PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THE MERCH WITHOUT OUR EXPRESS PERMISSION! FAILURE TO ADHERE TO OUR RULES WILL RESULT IN EXORBITANT EXPENSES ON YOUR END!” The banged attendee shouted.

“Aww, but I’m getting really thirsty, and a small innocent girl like me doesn’t need too much to drink!”

“If you’re ever in need of moooooching something off of me, I can provide straight from the tap, no problem!” Ginny offered while bouncing her quaking cow tits to the halfling.

“….on second thought, I’m good.” All enthusiasm the facade-holding faker had was gone.

“Try not to milk the situation for all it’s worth, dear! Ohohohoho!”

“(Was my joke really that groan worthy earlier? Cause now I can kind of see it….)” The angel puzzled upon his epiphany that they were indeed, quite lame.

“NoW ThEn, iF AlL oF YoU ArE DoNe BeInG NuIsAnCeS wE CaN BeGiN ThE SpEcTaClE oF GrAnD ArCh MaGe DeMiA’s SwAp-STiTuTe CrEaTuRe! (NaMe PaTeNt PeNDiNg)”

The two receptionists clapped their hands together in applause expecting their audience to do the same.

“*clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* *clap*”

….well, “expect” is a strong word considering there were hardly any expectations in the first place.

“….so when do we get to fuck?”

“In order to fornicate at this facility, patrons will need to put on a special collar wrapped around their necks. There are two settings, the green one indicates ‘aware status’ while the red one indicates ‘unaware status’. Once it is secured on your nape, you’ll drink our newly minted ‘Swap Serum’ and proceed to jiggle your jollies as usual!”

“ThE reAl FuN CoMeS WiTh WhAt HaPpEnS AfTeR ThE FiRsT AcT, sO YoU’Ll HaVe tO PaY uP oR bE LeFt HeADiNg HoMe SaD iN MuLtIpLe WaYs, KyAhAhAhA!”

“(Tch! Those greedy gophers are gipping us out of our gold all for a gratifying gamble! That’s genius!)” Kanchal mumbled to himself alliteratively as he pulled out his fat sack. The safe for work one that is.

“Oi! I’m only doing this out of obligation, you kooky klutz’s! If something bad happens to me you’ll be the ones liable!” Stunk understandably voiced his concerns.

“That IS valid reasoning to have, sir! But do know that we have tested these products out countless times on any spare Demia clones available!”

“IT’s TrUe! mY SiStErS HaVe BeEn ScRaMbLeD sO MuCh ThAt-HeY, nO MoRe SpOiLeRs FrOm mE! HaNd OvEr ThE CaSh oR ElSE YoU LoSe YoUr RiGhT tO CoMpLaIn!”

“Hey Stunk, we make more than enough money from doing our regular ‘interviewing’ that one load busted bad won’t be the end of us!” Zel innuendo-ed to his human cohort.

“Whatever, let’s just get this over with already so I can go home.” Elza said as she coughed up her portion. Not literally mind you, as she’s a canine species and not a feline. Now that would be too gross.

“Okey dokey, here’s your moooooolah! Spend it on something that matters the moooooost to you!”

“Didn’t I say to stop making bovine banter? That is SERIOUSLY getting on my nerves!” The diminutive dwarf declared as she laid her dosh on the table.

“Looking to peddle my earnings from an old lady like me, how ruthless! I’ll allow it this time though.”

“(Good bye, paycheck! Don’t get too angry at me for spending you on a frivolous activity like this!)”

“Thank you all so much for paying up in full! We can now begin the sexy times-”

“HoLd oN OnE MoMeNt, I AlMoSt FoRgOt! tO MaKe ThInGs MoRe ExCiTiNg, wE ShAlL DeTeRMiNe WhO’s MaDe AwArE oR NoT ThRoUgH RaNdOm ChAnCe!”

The clone then conjectured coins from her cleavage, leading to certain confuzzlement from her captives. As the clone flipped all of the coins with inhuman speed, they landed on the ground with half of them facing “A” and the other half facing “U”.

“aN EvEn SpReAd! ThAt MeAns FoUr oF YoU WiLl bE AwArE oF YoUr AcTiOnS, AnD ThE OtHeR FoUr WiLl bE aS UnAwArE aS DoLtHeAdEd DuNcEs!”

“I-I-In short, who would like to know what’s going on between each act? There’s no penalty for choosing either way, so anything goes!”

“I’m still wary of this whole rule set, but I think it’d be fun to not know what will happen next, so I’ll be team unaware!” Stunk asserted himself as first to answer.

“No fair! If it’s every man for themselves then I want to be unaware as well!” Kanchal also stated their intentions for the class to hear.

“I want to figure out how Demia-San made this sort of magic tech happen, so leave me aware if you would please.” Zel announced.

“Something tells me that even if I WERE to put on the collar, it’s effects wouldn’t work so I’ll remain aware for the sake of not wasting your time.” Crim graciously offered.

“Moo-hoo-hoo! I don’t want anything scary to happen without me knowing, so let me be aware!” Ginny teared up slightly.

“Ohohoho! This won’t be too much more frightening than a theater play, so to ruin the immersion would be bad for the actors. I’ll play unaware.” Mitsue confidently said.

“If this ‘Swap-stitute Creature’ is anything like the Gender Swap Inn then I want to be made aware of all of my client’s kinks that much more~” Piltia nabbed the last awareness position.

“Dammit! Loser’s weepers and all that, huh? Guess that means I’m on team unaware.” Elza begrudgingly admitted.

“Fantastic! We’ve confirmed our statuses, so now we just have to choose our pairs! You can do this part freely of course, too much involvement from us would destroy the integrity of our brothel!”

“AnYtHiNg YoU dO WoN’T StOp WhAt WiLl HaPpEn NeXt, sO WhY BoThEr ReStRiCtInG YoU UnNeCeSaSaRiLy? iT’S CoMpLeTeLy iNeFfiCiEnT.”

As the earlier pairs looked in the eyes of their counterpart, they gathered near each other quickly.

“Huh, that was fast. Guess you all came as couples today, heeheehee~”

After everyone fastened the collars on and drank the serum, the necklaces all glowed rainbow to signal that calibration between the two technologies was completed. Stunk, Kanchal, Mitsue, and Elza clicked their status to “unaware” and Zel, Crim, Piltia, and Ginny left their status on “aware”.

“I’Ll LeAd EaCh oF YoU tO YoUr DeSiGnAtEd FuCk ZoNeS NoW, sO KeEp iT iN YoUr PaNtS TiLl ThEn, HoRnDoGs!” The clone cackled as she split into four smaller clones and grabbed the hands of each pair.

The set-up was now finished, all that’s left is to start banging in earnest…with a head-turning twist in tow of course…what else would you expect from the combination of magic and science that only the mind of the Grand Arch Mage Demia herself could ever come up with after all?

And so that marks another chapter completed! The praise you guys have left from last time were some good stuff, so thanks for that! Great to know that I’m contributing something appealing for erotica audiences out there. We’ll see how long this goes on for, but I don’t want this to get too ham-fisted along the way, so stop me if I go too far. Thankfully, the world of Interspecies Reviewers allows such leniency to happen without too many prying eyes, haha. Regardless, have yourselves a good one until the next time we meet!