How Can I Have a Baby?

If you’ve been paying attention, this is the sequel to “I Didn’t Know My Wife Was Into Magic.” This time, it’s told from Marissa’s point of view and has a special guest star.

Back when my newlywed husband, Jeff, first cut me in half, I thought it was the most incredible feeling in the world, kind of like eating the sweetest chocolate, soaking in a jacuzzi and having sex all rolled into one.  Then he separated my body and the intense feelings got even stronger.

That’s why I didn’t want him to put me back together just yet.  Yes, it feels fantastic and heavenly, having my body divided the way it is, and there’s always a secret smile when we go out, the knowledge that only a Velcro patch is keeping my halves together.

Nobody, not anybody, has guessed my secret.  When Jeff makes love to me, it’s so incredible, the feelings so intense that it almost hurts.  My orgasms are longer and come on much more frequent when he brushes the soft side of the Velcro next to my hips.

We have done some experimentation with it.  Believe it or not, he’s taken my lower half three states away and, with me at home, he’s made love to just that half and I felt it, every bit as much as if he were here.

That was 3 years ago. And, while it’s true that I don’t want to be put back together, ever, I want to bring a new life into this world. I want to have a baby.

But how can I when my body’s divided?  I mean, sure, the whole mechanism is still in place, but don’t I need the rest of my body to be able to make a baby?

I decided to try and approach the subject delicately. “Babe, can you put me back together now?  I mean, it’s been wonderful, but I’d like to be back in one piece.”

He didn’t guess the reason I wanted it but did seem surprised. “What brought this on?”

I just shrugged. “I guess it’s just time.”

At that, he stood up, carefully pulling the soft side of the Velcro from my lower half. “As you wish.”

The skin that had grown over the cut area was still sensitive to the touch, causing me to gasp before he tilted my top half over and gently pulled the prickly side off.

I couldn’t believe it. What would happen after 3 years of being in halves?  What might the sensation feel like?

He lifted my top half up, lining me up and placed my two halves together.

Nothing.

He seemed puzzled. “That should’ve reversed it.  Let’s try again.”

He laid my top half down and pressed my halves together again.  Still nothing.  I was still divided.

I started to feel a little anxious at this point. “What’s wrong?”

He reached down and tickled my foot, with the gasp and the giggle and my leg bending out of the way he knew I was still magically connected, but why couldn’t I get back in one piece?

That’s when I confessed my real reason for wanting to be back in one piece, that I want a baby. He seemed excited by the prospect but still couldn’t figure out how to make me one piece again.

From somewhere, and I’m not sure where, he pulled out a card after muttering something about a problem. He picked up his phone and called. I could hear him. “Yes, I can’t put my wife back together again.  Yes, in halves.  About 3 years.  Oh, okay.”

He hung up the phone and then came and sat by me after lifting my top half back up. “Marissa, I had to call the Institute for Magical Mishaps.  They’re kind of a go-to when something goes wrong with magic.  They said they’d send someone soon.”

A new voice came from somewhere behind us. “You had a problem.”

We both jumped, or I would have if my body hadn’t been stuck in half.  The girl came around to face us, and she couldn’t have been taller than 5 feet.  She had on some kind of uniform that I could only guess was for this institute. “Uh, yeah. I can’t get back to one piece.”

The girl introduced herself as Carlie and sat down in the chair. “Tell me what happened?”

So, Jeff and I took turns describing how I ended up in halves 3 years ago, keeping myself together with Velcro.  Carlie simply smiled at that, seemingly understanding. “Let me tell you something Marissa, I’ve been cut in half, beheaded, even had my feet chopped off so many times I can’t begin to count.  Yes, the feeling is incredible, being in pieces like that, and there are some questions about what would happen with a prolonged halving, like yours.  I’ve seen another study where the two halves of the woman actually grew 2 replicas of the same woman, both of them complete with memories and everything.  I guess this is another possibility.”

I had to huff. “But I want to have a baby.”

Carlie smiled at both of us, understanding. “That is another magical possibility that we’re very much aware of at the Institute.  Can a woman in halves carry and give birth to a baby?”

She got up, reached over and patted my hand. “Yes.  Somehow, when that kind of magic happens, anything that has previously happened is temporarily reversed so that it can happen.”

Carlie reached over to the Velcro patches. “Clever idea, using Velcro.  You know we invented the stuff.”

And, with that, she was gone.  Jeff looked at me, seemingly more excited than usual.

That all happened a year ago.  Carlie, our little girl, is fully formed and very curious about her world and brings me great joy every day.  And, yes, I’m still in halves.  I guess I have to be now, but I’m still a mom.

And that is something that is even more satisfying.