The Skeptic

Jo had one of those sharp minds that could pick out the details in anything.  Ever since she could remember, she had to figure out how things went.

That’s why she couldn’t believe things unless she could see how they were done.  Everything had an explanation.  Everything had a purpose and a reason.

She didn’t believe in ghosts or in Bigfoot or in UFOs because these things didn’t have any reason to her, so she simply didn’t think about them.

She’d already learned about so-called magic and how so-called magicians did their “amazing” illusions.  Everything could be explained by a simple switch where nobody could see or an assistant that could bend out of the way of something sharp.  Nothing was ever truly magical.

That’s why she became a debunker.  She would go to magic shows and basically reveal how they were all done.  She made quite a name for herself on YouTube, even getting a small fortune from it.

But, tonight, she heard about a more amazing magician, The Amazing Randi.  Doing a little investigating online, she found that Randi had some of his regular assistants quit on him for some reason. “Probably some kind of sexual harassment.”

She only assumed that because she could see the costumes he made his assistants wear.  Sure, they didn’t show any private parts, but they were very skimpy and left very little to the imagination.  Of course, like most assistants, they were very pretty, very slender.  That did little to assuage her assumption that he started hitting on them and fired them if they wouldn’t sleep with him or something.

So, she booked a ticket to his show.  She’d get to the bottom of this little mystery, trying to figure out what he did and really tell the story of The Amazing Randi, even though she was certain he’d probably not like it.

As she went to the show, camera in hand, she started to narrate what sort of things she thought she could expect from the performance.  Jo had seen the website.  He was good, but she was certain there was an explanation for all the hocus pocus.

Jo recorded the performance, including where Randi apparently guillotined the head off of one of his assistants, picked it up and she was still alive, talking and smiling. She tried to get a good look underneath to see what was going on, but all she could see was skin where the neck would be.  He put her head back on and her body, head on, got up and walked backstage.

What was that about? No, there had to be an explanation. Perhaps it was a remote-control head made to be very lifelike and the real assistant ducked her head under the table. Yes, she was sure that was it.

The finale was where Randi sawed another assistant in half, no box, no cover of any kind.  And then he pulled her halves apart for a minute, and she just stayed smiling the whole time, grinning like it was a great experience. Maybe another assistant was already inside the table, and they were able to slip the first assistant down into it.

But it seemed so seamless, so effortless.  Jo had to know.  She had to be certain that it was still just all for show.

So, afterwards, she hung around and made her way backstage to Randi’s dressing room.  He recognized her, of course, and asked her to come in, camera in hand.  Jo did so, surprised at the invitation.

The dressing room wasn’t garishly laid out.  It seemed simple enough, even for a magician.  She got right to work. “I honestly couldn’t figure out how you pulled off any of those illusions, Mr. Amazing.”

Randi laughed. “Please, call me Randi.”

He seemed like enough of a gentleman, courteous and all that.  Jo pressed on. “For example, that beheading illusion.”

Randi laughed and sighed. “Yes, Julie always wants to do that one.  She liked it when her head’s cut off and, sometimes, I don’t reattach it so she can surprise her husband.”

That caught Jo’s attention. “You don’t reatta…are you saying that was really her head you were holding?”

Randi nodded, but Jo scoffed. “Wait, are you telling me you’re a real magician and that there’s real magic?”

Randi actually laughed, then got serious. “Can you, with your skeptic brain, ever really tell why we fall in love with certain people and not others?’

That caught Jo off guard. “I’m sure there’s some neurochemical response to that.”

Randi shook his head, laughing again. “Can you explain why sunsets, which happen every day, seem more meaningful with those we have those neurochemical bonds to?”

Jo stammered for a moment. “I admit, there are some things that can’t be explained, yet.  But I’m sure that, one day, they will be.”

Randi sighed, then made up his mind. “Do me a favor.  Hold your top up so that your waist is visible.”

Jo had to wonder about this, put her camera down, still showing her, and bared her midriff. Randi suddenly struck with a sharp blade right at her side.  Jo screamed for a moment, but then stopped. “It isn’t hurting anymore.”

Randi nodded as he drew the blade across Jo’s body. “For some reason, and I could never figure it out, only that first penetration hurts.”

Jo watched, fascinated as the blade got a quarter of the way in. “Perhaps, psychologically, it’s the brain’s way of negating what it knows should be impossible.”

Jo found herself flooded with pleasing emotions, coming from somewhere.  She even started to moan in pleasure as Randi cut across her backbone. He smiled at her, continuing his procedure. “Jo, all the assistants I’ve ever cut in half report feeling great feelings when they’re divided.  It’s pretty universal.”

He finished cutting through her and Jo just sat there, not quite believing what she just experienced. Was the blade retractable?  Was it all the power of suggestion?

As if Randi could read her thoughts, he reached under her arms and pulled her top half away.  As Jo felt this, she felt dizzy, a little nauseous, but, at the same time, extremely excited. “Wait.  That’s impossible.”

Randi put her top half down, cut side down, facing her bottom half. “Not impossible, magic.  We’re much more than just chemicals and neurotransmitters, Jo.  We’re meant to be magical creatures.”

Jo watched her feet twitching, making sure they were really hers.  How it could be she had no idea.  She looked over at Randi. “So, what happens now?”

Randi shrugged. “I can put you back together, which I’m told feels very good, or I can leave you like this.”

Jo scowled at him, which made him laugh. “No, not like this.  I mean I can make it so that you can stay cut in half for as long as you want. A lot of my assistants left me with that option.  They’re living normal lives, but they all have the same secret.  Although, to the outside world, they look like normal, everyday women, they’re all still sawn in half.”

Jo had to admit, she was curious.  The good feeling of being in halves still lingered, and she wanted to know more about it. “So, what do I have to do?”

Randi smiled and brought out a huge roll of Velcro. “I’m sure you know what this is.”

Jo nodded and Randi cut off a piece just big enough to cover Jo’s cut ends. “Pretty self-explanatory, I think.”

Jo smiled, laid the adhesive for one of the ends on her lower half while the adhesive for the other end stuck up.  She asked Randi for a little help getting herself looking like she was back together, then left.

It was only later Jo realized she could never upload all the videos she took that night.