I Didn’t Know my Wife Was Into Magic

I swear, if I’d have known, I would probably have just lied about it all.

It was about 3 months after I got married to this absolute babe.  Many of my friends thought I must have tricked her or knocked her up, but there is a secret, I told them, that would get them the perfect girl.  I never told them what it was though.

Marissa and I were still at that phase where we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other.  Sure, we both had to work, but, almost every night, we’d have sex until we were both exhausted, then just end up cuddling the rest of the night.

It all started, one afternoon, when I came home from work to find Marissa leafing through one of my old yearbooks.  It must’ve been 10 years ago, but she looked very happy.  Then, at one page, she stopped.

She held up the book and asked, “What’s this?”

I looked at it, the memories flooding back. “School talent show.”

The picture was of me doing one of my magic tricks.  Grandpa taught me what to do, and I’d basically played around with it.  I’d asked one of the girls I kind of had a crush on to help me with this trick.

Marissa noticed the oddity. “Is this some kind of photographic editing?”

I shook my head, and she gasped. “That girl looks like she’s really sawn in half.”

Indeed, the girl was in two pieces, on opposite sides of me.  And, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember her name.  Marissa looked at the picture again, eyes wide. “You can do real magic?”

I shrugged.  It had been a few years, but she had to clarify. “I mean real magic, not the phony stuff we see on TV all the time.”

I nodded, although, I told her, I hadn’t done it in a very long time.  I noticed her eyes dancing with excitement as she dropped the book and put her arms around me. “I want you to saw me in half.”

I gasped. “No.  I mean, not right now.  There’s a whole range of decisions and things that have to be done to do it right.  I don’t have a box, and I don’t think we have a saw anywhere.”

Marissa giggled. “Silly. All you need is a willing volunteer and something to cut me with.”

I kissed her, trying to get the idea out of her head.  I gave her a massage, something that would hopefully distract her, and we went to bed in the usual manner.

But I should’ve guessed she hadn’t let it go.  Marissa usually gets home about an hour before I do, and she had everything set up.

Admittedly, my wife has a FREAKIN’ HOT BODY, all the curves in just the right places at just the right proportions.  So, when she greeted me in a strappy bikini, I thought something must be up. Actually, I didn’t think much of anything at the moment.  The blood had left my brain.

She pulled me not into the bedroom, but into the kitchen.  I looked around, wondering what she was up to before she announced, “This is where I want you to cut me in half.”

The blood returned to my brain before I realized what she’d said.  She already had everything set up, the counter being clear and a stepstool for her to get up onto it.  She even had one of those knives they gave in the cutlery in our wedding presents, one that had never been used.  It was certainly long enough, I noticed, as she lay down, flat on her back, on top of the counter.

I heard her sigh. “Are you sure?”

Marissa sighed again. “Yes, do it before I change my mind.”

All the lessons Grandpa taught me came back to me, including the injunction The magic is in you.

Nervously, I took that large knife and addressed my wife’s waist with it.  I looked at her. “Ready?”

She seemed nervous but nodded.  I sliced into my wife slowly at first.  I saw her wince in pain and had to ask if she was okay.  Marissa took a couple of deep breaths, then nodded for me to continue.

The next slice in, I will admit, I was halfway expecting to see a little blood.  Marissa clenched in pain but begged me to continue.  I sliced in once more, feeling the release as her skin finally gave way to the sharp blade.  She gasped, relieved, before she looked down at herself.  She saw the knife firmly in her. “You’re doing it.”

I sliced again and she smiled. “You’re really cutting me in half.”

To be honest, I’d only done this twice before, the first time with a saw and the second with a scimitar blade.  Both were done fast, but I’d never done it with a kitchen knife, and not on the woman I wanted to spend forever with.

I continued to slice through her, her smile getting bigger all the time. “This feels so good.”

I had to pause a moment as I got to her spine. “I’m not sure how this is going to feel, hun.  Be ready.”

Definitely more confident, I sliced into her spine and heard her gasp in pure pleasure.  She even screamed “Yes” a couple of times, the way she did during those times we made love.

It didn’t take too long for me to completely sever my wife.  She gasped as the knife came out her other side, looked down very nervous. “How are you feeling hun?”

She looked up at me, excitement in her eyes. “Fantastic.  You really did it?”

I nodded, and she lifted herself up on her elbows.  Her halves slid apart by a few inches.  I think that, if she could’ve, she would’ve jumped into my arms after that, but all she could do was topple off.  I caught her, of course. “I think it’s time we get you back together hun.”

She grinned as she shook her head. “No, I want to keep feeling this way.  Wonder what would happen if we made love with me in two pieces?”

Marissa climbed up me, kissing me soundly while I held her upper half up.  It took a little effort to get her lower half to obey, but, to be honest, it was one of the best nights I’ve ever had.

That was 6 months ago, and Marissa still hasn’t asked me to put her back together.  She’s really adapted to being in halves, managing to hide it from everyone she works with and even going so far as to getting a huge Velcro patch to keep her two halves together without actually being together.

But to be honest, I’m not in any rush to try and get her back together.  Truthfully, I’m not sure she can be put back together after so long, but she’s very happy.

And the sex is great.