Marti knew it was wrong, but she still tried to clock every new patron that came into the bar. Sometimes, she was right, but most of the time, it was just someone with a weird fashion sense or generally nonconforming - running a bar for people with forced gender change tended to attract other people who just wanted a drink without being stared at for the wrong reasons. The only way she knew for sure was if someone ordered a particular off-menu cocktail, something she was reminded of when the woman who looked like a thirty-year-old version of Ally Sheedy in Breakfast Club approached the bar and made her order…

————————————————————

“Life Tits Up”.

That’s the drink I was told to order - at the bar only - if I wanted help with my condition. It seemed weird, but nothing about the last month of my life hasn’t been. I’m still getting used (re-used? Is that a thing?) to wearing a bra and higher-heeled shoes, and while I’m trying to pass by wearing makeup, the looks I’ve gotten seem to indicate that I’ve shown my lack of skill there as well.

The cute bartender’s eyes widen a little at my order, then she gives me an appraising look. “Well… miss?” - I nod at the implied question - “that’s a drink we only serve in our private rooms. Chuck can show you to a room.”

I followed the uncomfortably attractive server to a room out of view and hearing of the main seating area. I could feel a few sets of eyes on me as we moved across the bar, and I got the feeling that while many of them were just watching an attractive woman, some knew exactly where I was going and why.

————————————————————

Chuck asked me if I wanted any food to go with my drink, and I told him I’d like a water and something to snack on. When the door opened a couple minutes later, I turned, expecting (and, to my surprise, hoping) to get another look at Chuck’s well-sculpted figure, but instead a basket of fries, a water, and a cocktail glass were carried in by a short woman with blue hair wearing a business suit that looked far too expensive for someone serving drinks at a bar.

The server set down my order and I looked at the drink. It was Pepto-Bismol pink, and floating in it were two pink round candies with small brown dots at the top. “Life Tits Up”, indeed. I took a sip, and was pleasantly surprised to find that it tasted like candy apples.

When I looked up from my drink, the woman was still there, patiently waiting for me. Noticing she had my attention, she softly asked if she could share my seat. I thought about telling her this was a private room, but remembered that since she was the one who’d brought my food and drinks, she probably knew that already.

She introduced herself as Teri and told me she helped people whose lives had “gone tits up”. She assured me she wasn’t responsible for the pun in the drink code, which she blamed on a server named Charlie. Her role, as she put it, was to help people talk through what had happened to them.

I laughed. How, I asked Teri, could I even begin to explain the weird, unbelievable shit that had been the last thirty days of my life? Especially when what I remembered from before that was so different from what I know was true?

Teri just looked at me, smiled kindly, and told me that I start with either one - what I remembered or what I knew - whenever I was ready.

I wasn’t ready. But this was what I’d come here for, wasn’t it? To get whatever kind of help I could?

I took a deep breath, and started telling Teri my story.

————————————————————

I remember being a young man named Mack. Until my high school graduation, my life was mostly normal and not important to why I was at this bar today. In college, I’d made fast friends with three women, Estelle, Tamika, and Diane, who each had birthdays within a week of mine. Our “birthday club” got an apartment together after our first year, and after our divergent careers and interests took us to different areas of the country, we still got together each year for our shared birthday week, taking turns playing host and planning party activities.

————————————————————

I paused in my story and took a drink of my Life Tits Up. One of the candy boobs ended up in my mouth, and I sucked on it thoughtfully. “It’s weird that I never remember thinking our story didn’t make sense. I was nineteen years old, sharing an apartment with three women I enjoyed spending time with and thought were attractive, and I don’t ever remember even thinking about dating or fucking one of them. Not in an ‘I’m avoiding the dating topic because I don’t want to ruin our friendship’ way, but in an ‘I never even thought about asking any of them out even though all the pieces seemed to be there’ way.”

Teri nodded. “You’d be surprised how many people we get in here who have that experience. Having… significant parts of your life change suddenly and unexpectedly can bring both confusion and clarity.”

I shook my head. “You have no idea. I’m just now getting to the interesting part.”

————————————————————

This year, we turned thirty. It was Estelle’s turn to host our celebrations, and she promised us something “unique and memorable”. She didn’t tell us what we were doing, but she told us to bring our sexiest outfits. I don’t remember what I packed to accommodate that request, but I do remember being very interested in what they would pack - just because I never made a move to start a relationship with my roommates doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate how they looked when they dressed to kill.

My flight was delayed. I got to Estelle’s house about three hours after I’d hoped to, and I remember being very concerned that whatever she’d planned had started without me. I shouldn’t have worried, though; they’d never excluded me in the past, and they weren’t going to start now. When I arrived, I found them in casual clothes, getting a head start on a bottle of wine. I got my glass and waited for whatever secret scheme Estelle had developed.

After taking a minute to settle in, I asked what the plans were for the evening. Tamika and Diane joined in. Estelle deflected our questions for a few minutes until the doorbell rang, then she announced that our “guest” had arrived.

Our “guest” was a woman about our age with long black hair and a slim figure. She wore a low-cut blue sleeveless blouse and a long business skirt, and she carried a large tote bag. She introduced herself as Erin, and said she was an “erotic hypnotist”, which I… did not know was a thing.

Diane was the most vocally skeptical of us. “You’re going to walk in here dressed for a day at the office telling us you’re a hypnotist? Named Erin? No fancy name or outfit or showmanship?”

Erin raised an eyebrow and smiled politely. “I’m a professional, not a vaudeville act. Usually I help couples get more comfortable with each other, or help people who want to let go of sexual repression, but I also offer my services to friends who want to let go and have a little fun, like you ladies.”

Tamika leaned in. “Ooh, this sounds interesting. How do we get started?”

Erin reached into her tote bag and pulled out a necklace with a multifaceted glass pendant. The pendant caught the light in dazzling ways. “We’re going to start by getting relaxed.” She held the necklace up, and the pendant spun, causing light to dance across her face - and, I presume, ours. “Tonight will be fun, but it needs trust and consent. I can’t make you do anything you wouldn’t do, but I need your consent to push you to do things you would.” She had excellent vocal control, keeping her husky alto smooth and comforting. “You’re safe here. Safe with your friends, safe in Estelle’s house, safe with me. You’re safe to keep your eyes on my necklace, watching its dancing light, and when I put the necklace on, you can stop watching, but keep feeling the comfort and relaxation watching it gave you.” She put the necklace one, and like she said, I felt safe, comfortable, like I was wrapped up in a warm blanket on a lazy Saturday morning. Something Erin said was odd, but I knew it didn’t matter; I could trust her, just like I trusted my old roommates.

Erin looked at us one by one. “You’re feeling very cozy now, I’d imagine. Just relax, and trust the suggestions I give you.” I nodded, and I saw the others nod lazily too, as though they were only half awake. “Now let’s start with something simple, possibly with doubting Diane. Diane, are you comfortable? Warm?” Diane nodded and replied, “yeah, I’m nice and warm.” Erin suggested, “Is it too warm? Would you be more comfortable without your shirt?” Dianne nodded, and took off her shirt, mumbling “Cozy…” Erin went on, “Bra too, I think, after all, it’s nothing any of us haven’t seen before; we’ve all got them.” Diane dreamily removed her bra too, exposing her small breasts to the room and to the rest of us. Erin looked around and said, “It isn’t polite to just have one of you topless, I think you should all join her.” That made sense, and I started removing my own shirt. I remember thinking it was weird that Erin had said we’d “all got them” when I didn’t, but I trusted her to know what she was doing.

I don’t know whether Erin’s “toplessness trick” broke the ice, or whether it working confirmed how strongly we were under her spell, but we were like putty in her hands afterward. Diane and Tamika put on and showed off their sexy outfits while Estelle and I orally pleasured a banana together. We took turns massaging each other and ourselves. In a less erotic and more goofy moment, Erin made us mix up each other’s names.

After a moment where Tamika - or maybe it was Estelle - got stuck calling all four of us Diane, including herself, we all collapsed into giggles. At this point, Erin snapped for our attention and we all returned to the lazy entranced state she’d induced in us many times. “Well, ladies, we’ve had some fun, but for this to be a truly erotic party, we’re missing some men, don’t you think?” We all nodded.

Erin went on. “I want you all to think of the kind of man you’d want to bring to this party. Nobody specific - just a generic man to spend the evening with us. Do you all have him in your minds?” We nodded, and I again didn’t say anything even though I thought it was weird. After all, the man I wanted to bring to this party was me.

Erin looked around. “But it looks like this room isn’t big enough for us and four men, so we’re going to have to share some space. So when I count down from ten, I want you to let the man you’ve been thinking of into your mind and body. When I reach one, I will snap my fingers, and you’ll give him total control of your senses and your actions.”

She started counting down. I don’t know what the others felt, but I felt a pulling sensation, like I was being stretched and reshaped inside my own skin. I lost track of what Erin was saying, but when the feeling subsided, I heard her snap her fingers.

————————————————————

I breathed heavily and took another sip of my drink, sticking out my tongue to take a lick of the remaining candy breast. Teri noted my pause, and said, “Let me guess, when you woke up, you were like this?”

I nodded. “But that wasn’t the weird part.”

————————————————————

I came out of Erin’s trance feeling disoriented, like the proportions of the room were off somehow. I looked at my friends, who were all looking around the room like they’d never seen it before. I looked at Erin, who in turn was watching each of us, waiting to see what we would do.

Estelle broke the ice first, with an affected low voice. “Dude… where am I.” Her eyes opened wide, and she grabbed her throat.

Diane was next as she stretched, then froze, apparently noticing the tight clothing on parts of her body she didn’t think she was supposed to have. She looked down, then grabbed her breasts, letting out a squeak when she confirmed that yes, they were in fact attached to her.

Tamika was silent, but she was studying her false nails as though trying to figure out how to take them off.

As the token male of the group, I thought all this was very funny, and let out a girlish giggle. Then I paused and started to inspect myself. It seemed that Erin’s hypnosis had made us all men in women’s bodies, but where she made my friends think they were men, she’d made me think I’d become a woman. Interesting.

Erin’s voice rang out in her “relaxing command” tone: “Gentlemen, can I please have your attention.” We all looked over to her. She made sure of it, then continued. “I think we should all introduce ourselves. I’m Erin, your host for the evening.” I introduced myself, then Diane identified herself as Dan, Tamika as Tyrone, and Estelle as Stanley. Erin went on. “You’ve been invited tonight to a unique party, one where you get to take control of women’s bodies. You’ll have to give them back later, but for now you can do whatever you want with them. The only rule is that you cannot leave this house or let anyone outside this house see what you are doing.”

Tyrone immediately jumped up from the couch. “Dibs on the bathroom!” he yelled, running to the ground floor bathroom and slamming the door. Stanley followed suit, making his claim to the bedroom. He had a little more difficulty with it since he was still wearing Estelle’s heels.

Dan rolled Diane’s eyes and picked up two wine glasses. “I guess we’ll just have to wait our turns. Interested in a drink, Mack?” he asked me.

I was definitely interested in a drink. As I got up, though, I realized there was something I needed to do first. I’d never put my shirt back on after Erin’s first trick, and now I had breasts wobbling uncomfortably on my chest. I looked around for my university sweatshirt, finding instead a tank top with the same logo and a bra. I picked up the bra, decided it would take too much time to figure out, and threw the tank top over my head as I followed Dan into the kitchen.

When I got to the kitchen table, Dan had already poured us two generous glasses of wine and was sipping from his. It was odd, but something about his demeanor made Diane’s body seem just absolutely gorgeous to me, attractive in an irresistible way I hadn’t felt before. He looked at me and flashed me a cute smile. “You didn’t seem as put off by this as the rest of us.”

I shrugged and took a sip of my own. “Bodies are bodies, and I’ve been around the three of yours for long enough that I’m not shy around a woman’s body. I guess that even applies when I’m suddenly occupying one myself, although I think I have a better understanding of what “my eyes are up here” means than I did an hour ago.”

Dan blushed as he looked up from my cleavage, then furrowed his eyebrows. “What do you mean, ‘the three of ours’? I’ve never seen any of you before in my life. And some of you…” he guides Diane’s blue eyes back up and down my feminized body as he spoke, “I’d definitely remember.”

I paused. That’s weird. I figured the other “guys” would have been like me, thinking of themselves as the only guy in a group of girls. Why would Dan not be familiar with any of us?

My musings were interrupted by a moan coming from upstairs. Dan shot me a grin. “Sounds like someone decided what he wanted to do with his girl time,” he laughed. In Diane’s melodic laughter.

“I’ll probably get to that once I get a chance for some alone time,” I admitted. I tried to put who I’d be thinking about as I tried “that” out of my mind to keep the conversation going. “How about you? Any big plans for your night as a woman?”

“Well, since you ask, I may have had a thought or two before tonight,” Dan said. Looking me in the eyes, he stood up and placed the wine bottle back in its place. “But now that I’m here, I’m starting to get some other ideas.” He started to walk toward me, his hips moving in a way that I found almost as hypnotizing as Erin’s necklace.

I swallowed hard. “Other… ideas?” I felt my nipples harden as this body started having other ideas of its own.

Dan smiled. “Yeah. Other ideas. For example, once Stan was done upstairs, I was going to get this dress off and see what I thought about how I looked in a woman’s body.” He pulled at where the dress met his breasts. “But I think this dress is so tight, I might need some help taking it off. Would you want to help?” He moved up to me and whispered in my ear. “Is there anything you’d like me to help take off of you?”

My mind raced. On the one hand, yes, I absolutely wanted Dan to help take anything off me he wanted to. On the other, this was a very different encounter for Dan than it was for me. He was, as far as he knew, a man who’d suddenly found himself in a woman’s body suggesting a sexual encounter with a random man who’d found himself in a woman’s body. From my perspective, my good friend, who I suddenly felt intense feelings of lust for - and those feelings may or may not be related to suddenly being in a body I didn’t know well - had created a man in her own mind and was channeling that man to hit on me.

I almost said no. Then, as I felt Diane’s fingers under Dan’s control start to push up the bottom of my tank top, I remembered what Erin had said when we first entered her trance - she couldn’t make us do things we wouldn’t do.

This was something Diane would do with me. This was something I would do with her.

I grabbed both sides of Diane’s face and kissed Dan on the lips.

I’m not sure how long that first kiss lasted, but it was at least long enough for Dan to move Diane’s hands under my tank top and onto my breasts.

We did not wait for Stan to finish whatever he was doing to Estelle’s body to move up to the bedroom. I knew Estelle kept a clean kitchen; it would be fine.

————————————————————

“I want to be clear,” I told Teri, my face flushing slightly, “that I’m not trying to brag or report on a body count here. I’m establishing some context for how jarring what happened next was.”

Teri seemed unperturbed by this part - any part, really - of my story so far. “Gender-weird sapphic kitchen floor sex is extremely tame compared to some of what I’ve heard, believe me.” She waved for me to go on.

————————————————————

Our kitchen antics were interrupted twice - once by Stan, who was seeking some food and immediately changed his mind upon entering the room - and by Erin calling us all back to the main room.

Dan and I got dressed in comfortable loungewear from “our” respective suitcases and held each other close as Erin put us back under a trance. My heart hurt as I dropped my arm from his shoulder and felt him let me go, but neither of us had the will to resist.

Erin told us that while the party was fun, it was time to send the men home and let the women have time with each other again. She told Dan, Tyrone, Stan, and I to leave the girls with the memories of our time with them, but to give them their will and agency back. She counted up from one to ten this time, and I didn’t feel any of the weird sensation I felt the first time. On ten, we all woke up.

Estelle was the first to come out of her trance and speak. “Damn, Stan was insatiable. He went straight for my sex toys and tried them all. Twice. I am going to have to sanitize every inch of that bedroom tomorrow.

Diane laughed. “Good thing Dan and Mack kept to the kitchen, then. Tamika, we didn’t see Tyrone at all after he went in the bathroom. What happened?”

Tamika didn’t look at us. She just softly said, “He looked in the mirror, and just couldn’t stop. He thought I looked like how he remembered his mom.”

“Oh my God, Tam, I’m so sorry,” Estelle said. She and Diane immediately moved to comfort Tamika - her mom had died in her early thirties, and Tamika had apparently passed that lingering trauma to Tyrone.

My absence in the comfort circle was noted. Diane looked over at me with a look that mixed concern with frustration. “Mackenzie, we haven’t heard from you yet. How was your time as a man?”

I looked at her. The tears I’d been trying to hold back started flowing down my face. “I’m not Mackenzie. I’m Mack.”

————————————————————

Erin tried to “release” me a couple more times. Each time, she said, the trance and hypnosis worked, but Mackenzie just failed to resurface. She said it had never happened before, and that she was going to do everything she could to find out what was going on.

I went to the bathroom, splashed water on Mackenzie’s face, and took my first good look at it. It was, unsurprisingly, similar to my sister’s and mother’s in a familial way, and shared a lot of features from the face I remembered seeing in the mirror, just softer and more feminine.

When I came out, I sat back on the couch. Estelle asked if I needed anything, and I told her and Diane to make sure Tamika was okay. When they left, I took out Mackenzie’s phone, unlocked it with her face, and started inspecting the life I’d found myself in.

I found pictures of Mackenzie at all ages - prom, college, family trips, the works. I found lots of pictures of her with Estelle, Diane, and Tamika at various milestones. Eating at the dining hall. Getting their first apartment together. Graduation. Every birthday week since.

The pictures didn’t lie. I was a fiction created under a hypnotic trance. But where my friends had all created fake men with significant differences from themselves, Mackenzie had imagined a man exactly like her, except male.

And then she left her own body in his ongoing care.

I reached the end of the photos on her phone with the one picture of me - a selfie Dan and I had taken together just after we’d put clothes back on. I felt the tears start coming again.

I heard a voice behind me. “You know, I remember taking that picture.”

I turned. Diane stood there. She asked if she could sit down. I nodded yes. We sat for a moment quietly, then she asked, “Do you remember anything about being Mackenzie?” I shook my head no. She sighed. “That’s too bad. Mackenzie was great. She was funny, kind, always willing to help out. I’m close to the whole birthday club, but I always felt closer to Mackenzie than the others. And I always wanted to be even closer, but didn’t want to make things weird.” She had tears in her eyes as she went on. “I remember everything about being Dan. That was real, Mack, even if it was done under hypnosis. There was nothing you and Dan did that I hadn’t wanted to do with Mackenzie for years.” She looked me in the eyes. “Regardless of what you remember and what the pictures on your phone suggest, you are real too, Mack. And I really want to talk to you about what happened between us tonight when you’re ready.” She kissed me on the cheek and left me with my thoughts.

————————————————————

“And that’s my story,” I said.  “Erin tried to find a way to bring Mackenzie back, but all she was able to find was this bar and Life Tits Up, so here I am.”

Teri gave me a businesslike nod. “Right, okay. So you’re Mack, stuck in Mackenzie’s body. I’ve got some resources for transitioning - legal paperwork, hormones, even plastic surgery if you want it - and everyone’s “in on the secrets” and discreet given the government’s current… bullshit.” She waved her hand vaguely in an all-encompassing gesture.

I interrupted. “Wait, what? No, I don’t want to transition.” Teri stopped and let me continue. “I love this body - the curves, the sensuality, everything. I even get to be with Diane, which never would have happened before all this. I wouldn’t change it for the world, as weird as that sounds.”

Teri gave me a confused look. “Then what did you order the drink for?”

I sighed. This part was going to be the hardest to explain. “I need to find a way to undo what Erin did, go back to being fully Mackenzie. I like being me and being in this body, but it’s not my life and Mackenzie deserves the chance to live it and to be with the woman she’s clearly wanted to be with for a decade.”

“Okay, I can work with that. But when Erin gave Diane, Estelle, and Tamika their selves back, it was pretty seamless? The men were there one minute, the women the next?”

I nodded. “Diane said it was like waking up from a weird dream. She remembered being Dan, but as soon as Erin told Dan to let go, she was Diane again.”

Teri took a sip from a glass of water. “From everything you describe - in particular Erin’s statement at the start of the evening - it sounds like Mackenzie had the chance to live her live. And she decided to live it as you.”

“But I…” I stopped and thought about this. That couldn’t be right, could it? Mackenzie gave up her own mind to become me? She chose to become… a woman with the memories of a man? A man who likes being in a woman’s body? Where does that even fall on the gender spectrum?

“Mack, can I give you some advice?” Teri must have noticed my confusion.

“That’s why I’m here.”

“I think Diane had the right of it that night. This is real, and you are real. There aren’t enough people in this world who get to be happy or content with who they are in it. If you are, don’t question why, just enjoy it.”

There was a knock on the door. Teri opened it, and a young woman wearing a green dress with a server’s apron peeked in. “Sorry to interrupt, but there’s a Diane here who asked if Mack came in? She gave -“ her eyes flicked over to me and back to Teri - “an accurate description.”

Teri looked at me. “Mack, you’ve got a woman waiting for you who wants you the way you are.” She paused for emphasis. “*All* of you the way you are. You coming?”

I finished my drink. The remaining candy tit tasted sweet as I sucked the rest of the sugar and liquor off of it. I thought about Diane doing the same to my tits - or me to hers - and Mackenzie’s nipples, my nipples, immediately stood to attention.

All I have to do is not question why Mackenzie yielded to me and enjoy it? I smiled and nodded to Teri. Yes, I think I can do that.