"Ugh, I'm so friggin' tired of these stupid, sexist mecha suits," said an armored woman, taking off her cat-eared helmet. "Like, I love the colors but...why the hell does the suit come with inflatable cleavage?!? 'Safety feature for chest impacts' my ass! If it was just for safety, how come it matches my skin tone and is perfectly E-cup sized?!?"

"I know, right?!?" said another woman, still in her mouse helmet. "There shouldn't be a corset inside the suits, or heels, or a fucking vibrator in the crotch that activates every time one of the guys talk to uhhHHHHH-"

She was cut off as an incredibly loud noise emanated from within her heart-shaped crotch armor plate. A group of the pilot men was walking by the chatting armored women, making snide comments about their tight-fitting suits. The women continued to complain after they were gone, catching their breath. "Urgh-, it's always so friggin' strong...and why do the guys get to wear cool looking mech suits?! All of their stuff is actually themed whereas we all get the same stupid sexy suit, just with different colors and animal ears!"

Another woman in a teddy bear helmet waddled over, holding her bum. "UGH! I accidentally used the broken charging station and got stuck for hours! Luckily I wasn't empty or I'd be standing there all night. Whose bright idea was it to have the women's mechsuits charge only if the pilot is inside...and have the charging dock in the butt?!? It's so stupid how it pulses and-"

A sudden crackling noise filled the air. They all looked up as the intercom started making an announcement. "Attention! New pilot Shaun is on deck. New pilot is to get inside the mech, do you hear me?!" The women looked confused as a young, lithe man with long blue hair walked through the gates, looking confused.

"Oohhh, I bet that's the new hotshot pilot, did you hear he's the son of the commander?"

"Wait, didn't the commander design these suits?"

"Yeah! Wait, ladies, I have an idea for how to get some...constructive feedback to this pig of a commander. We just need his son to make a point...Hey, one of you bring the bunny suit to the back! And get your makeup kit too!" They all laughed maliciously as they waved the blue-haired man over, ready to "welcome" him.

"Guys this isn't funny," whined the blue-haired pilot, whose long locks had now been wonderfully styled. "It was the only suit left and now it's stuck!"

The women giggled, watching the man squirm inside the white and pink mecha suit, his makeup making his begging even more delicious. They knew it wasn't the only suit, but after guiding the new pilot to a backroom for some "on-boarding", they'd faked an alien attack alarm. This prompted them to guide their hotshot pilot to the "only suit in the room", keeping it mostly covered. It wasn't until his feet were arched sky-high, his waist was crushed, and his new breasts were inflated that he realized what was going on.

Everyone was doubled over laughing once they heard the suit declare, "REAR ACCESS PANEL OPEN".

"Well, sounds like your suit's power is depleted Shauna. Now that you have some firsthand experience on how shitty these things are, you can let your dad know how to fix them! But you'll need to be able to walk over to him, because we seem to have lost the exit codes. Here, at least we can get you charged up, hehehehe."

"Wait, just where are you gonna put that charging cable- uhhHHHHH!" As soon as the cable was "inserted" through the rear port, the charging sequence began. Unfortunately the estimated waiting time was...

"Oh wow! 26 hours to completed charge! Well, looks like you'll be here a while. Oh, funny enough, it looks like your "motivation enhancement device", that's what your dad calls that heart-shaped thing on your crotch, activates from your own voice. Ha! Well, looks like you'll have to keep quiet, otherwise it'll go off and consume your charge-"

That's when the actual alien attack alarm went off. "Welp, looks like we gotta run girls! Shauna, you just sit tight and get your bum charged. Maybe we'll send one of the more talkative guys back here to check up on you later. Otherwise, keep quiet!" She winked and laughed with the other ladies as they ran off to their stations. Shaun unfortunately was left to stand quietly while his rear port vibrated and charged, trying not to set off his "motivation enhancement device".

After several hours of being alone, charging, Shaun heard a crash behind him. And then an odd, deep voice which set off his motivation enhancement device.

"Successful infiltration of the human base! Command, I've located a pristine human specimen, one of the pretty ones! Bringing her back along with the human mech equipment. Long live the empire!"

The blue-haired pilot tried to scream as the alien covered his mouth and picked him up along with all the equipment. Both the alien's voice and his own was setting off his "motivation enhancement device", preventing him from getting anything coherent out as the giant alien ran away with it's new prize.

Art by @HinaYui