I close the door behind me as I excitedly haul in the box from my doorstep. I pry the box open and packing peanuts fly around the room as I reach in and pull out the contents of my delivery. Yes, just like I’d always dreamed, a jigsaw and a frame. I had it. My very own way to saw a woman in half. But this one was so much better than I had wished.

You see, for years I’d hoped to own the basic gimmick that would let me perform the trick and make it appear like I had sawn a girl in half. But this one was part of the newly made series. The one that allowed you to actually saw your assistant in half with magic.

And I couldn’t wait to use it.

——

Later that night my girlfriend Abby and I sat in the living room. The now assembled and set up components sat there on the coffee table. Of course it was a bit awkward given the “activity” I had just proposed.

“I don’t know, Adam,” she said from her spot next to me, "What if something goes wrong?”

Her worry was understandable. This was a new kind of product and not many people had used it or seen it work. Two twenty-somethings testing this out might not be seen as the safest thing in the world to most people. But I wanted to try it out so badly.

“It’s completely safe,” I reassure her. “You saw the videos. The girls all ended up back in one piece and they seemed to really enjoy the whole experience from start to finish”

She set her hazel eyes on the saw. “How do you know that it’s even real? That saw has a regular old brand name on it. What if someone sold you a regular old jigsaw and stock and you end up hurting me? You did say you found it on a normal auction. How are you sure we can trust it?”

Now I had to admit. She had a bit of a point there. But based on what I had read online it had all the tell-tale signs that it was a legitimate copy and not one of the knock-offs.  I’d admittedly tried it out on fruit earlier, as was suggested by the manufacturer, but I didn’t want to kill the suspense by showing that it worked that way.

“Trust me,” I said, "would I do anything that would hurt you?”

Abby looks at me. She knows how much I care about her, and how much I want this to happen. “I guess not”, she sighs. “But if I feel anything wrong we stop.”

I feel my heart pounding in my chest as I say, “Okay!” It was finally going to happen, and for real. I could barely contain my excitement and she could tell. I fumbled a little as I reached to pick up the stock.

“Umm...Adam,” I hear Abby say, “we haven’t even figured out how we’re going to do this.”

I look around the room and realize she’s right. Thinking quickly on my feet I look down at the ottoman,  “That should be sturdy enough you just have to lay down on it for a bit anyway.”

“Okay”, she responds as she ties the bottom of her striped red T-shirt up. Good call, it would be bad if I cut that, since fabric doesn’t seem to restore afterwards.

She lays herself back on the ottoman with her legs bent so she fits on the short surface. I begin to place the stock over her bare waist when she stops me.

“Wait! I don’t want to watch it happen”, she exclaims.

So I lift the stock back up.

She hurriedly rolls herself over and kneels over the edge of the ottoman. “Like this,” she says.

“Okay,” I blurt out. I’m admittedly liking this angle a bit more given the fact that she’s wearing her yoga pants  and they nicely hug the shape of her  bottom.

I place the stock over her back and reach for the jigsaw.

My breathing is getting heavy as a moment I’ve wished for my entire life approaches.

“Ready?” I manage to ask. I look at her, auburn hair highlighted the motion of her nod, ‘yes’.

I power up the saw for just a second, and wow was it loud. “The neighbors are probably going to hear this,” I think to myself. I was so focused on how easy this would be to store that I hadn’t considered it. Oh well, here we are, let’s just get on with it.

I line the blade up with the slot in the stock. I can hear Abby nervously breathing. That goes away as I once again power the saw on.

As it roars to life I begin pushing it across the stock to no resistance at first.

As it pushes forward I finally feel it make contact with Abby’s hip but the feeling is closer to cutting through butter. I look to her head and see it arching back as I begin to deepen the cut. I fear it hurts, but I hear no screaming and decide to keep going.

I’m now a bit over a quarter of the way done with the cut and I’m gaining confidence in the trick. This is rattled as I reach the center of her back and meet resistance.

Of course, her spine. This is a bit tough. I place my hand on her back just above the stock and start to slightly push it in the opposite direction of the saw. This eases things a bit and the saw continues is journey across the stock and through her back.

As I do this I can now feel her heavy breathing. It’s familiar, I think to myself. I grin and continued the task of separating Abby.

Very quickly I was through her spine and sawing out towards her other hip. I took my hand off her back and took in the view.

Abby was breathing very heavily, her legs shifting  with a jigsaw half way through her and still traveling. It was more than I’d ever imagined.

I guess I lost track, because I suddenly stopped feeling any resistance. I realize that I’ve cut clean through her. The saw exits the stock and I power it off.

“Do you feel okay?” I ask.

“Yeah,” she answers, still breathing very heavily, "this just feels strange.”  From the way the things were you couldn’t really tell what had transpired. Abby was leaned over the ottoman and there was a stock across her back.

I walk up in front of her to look at her face. As I lean over to look at her she pulls us together and starts kissing me passionately. We get lost in the moment but I have a sudden realization. She pulled herself closer.

I pull away and look down at her. “What’s wrong?,” she asks. I don’t answer because the sight in front of me has me speechless.

There was now about 6 inches of space between

Abby’s lower torso and the stock covering the top of her hips. She soon realizes what has occurred and looks back, getting a slight view of her current state.

She begins to roll her top half over to get a better look and I move the stock. At the ends of halves is skin that matches the milky white complexion of the rest of her body.

Now completely rolled over Abby looks at the separation point of her lower half.  “This is just so weird,” she says, clearly still shocked at the sight of her own body being in two separate halves.

“Does it.... did it hurt?,” I worriedly asked. I’d been so focused on getting what I wanted, that I hadn’t bothered asking. I kind of felt bad, that is until she replied,” No it feels incredible. I wish you’d taken your time with it. But it was all over in 30 seconds.”

“Well that’s good... the fact that it didn’t hurt. I’m sorry I rushed through it,” I say awkwardly.

“It’s okay, I’m kind of ready for something else...,”

she replies pointing at her bottom half. This is when I notice for the first time that her feet are moving. Man am I careless.

“Okay,” I say.

“Alright then how about you put me back together and then we do that,” she says.

“I could do that, but I’ve got my own idea,” I say.

“What?,” she exclaims as I grab her legs from the top of her hips. They rise with my help and I lift them up from her thighs and her bottom.

I begin to walk toward the door to my bedroom legs in tow. Abby half-heartedly protests,” wait are you really going to...” I miss the last part as the door shuts. I hear her saying words I can’t understand as I place her legs on the bed, but that stops as soon as I get started......

Oh, and don’t worry I put her back together afterwards. She had fun with it anyway.