“Get a look at this clown…” Harris gestured to the monitor. On it, in grainy tones of green, a rickety, rusty van pulled up in front of an ornate, wrought iron fence.

 “We’re getting this from the security cameras?” Thomas asked.

 Harris nodded. “Inside job, got a tap in the wiring this morning...oh look, he’s going for the fence…” On the screen, a man in a dark blue turtleneck sweater with a round, white logo on the front and a knit cap had gotten out of the van. In one hand, he had a small black bag, in the other a pistol. Approaching the gate, he seemed unsure what to do for a long minute. He started juggling the items in hand, trying to hold onto both while climbing the fence. Eventually, he reached out with his now free right hand…

 “Haha! Stupid SOB didn’t check for the electric fence!” Harris chuckled as the husky figure was suddenly knocked back by the sudden jolt of electricity. “Look! This guy doesn’t know when to quit…” The clown had gotten up, dusting himself off with stiff, jerky movements. For another long moment, he paced back and forth, then seemed to get an idea.

 The two watched as he climbed back into his van and started it. “No, he wouldn’t…” Thomas said as the van backed up a few yards and stopped. It sped forward, picking up enough feet to hit the gate with full force. Their was a shower of sparks and the front of the van became even more dented and dinged up, but it slid into the front yard of the house, tires smoking slightly from rolling over the electrified gate.

 The clown hopped out, looking a bit dazed and rattled. The sound of alarms and barking dogs seemed to jolt some sense into him, or perhaps failed to, since instead of getting out of there, he charged forward, towards the house. A second later, he disappeared from sight.

 “Do we have any other feeds?” Thomas asked, hurriedly.

 “Yeah...um…” Harris switched through in rapid succession. For a brief moment, they caught sight of the clown running from three burly guard dogs. He eluded them by diving head first through one of the windows. A loud scream on the other side said the room wasn’t unoccupied.

 “Find him again…” Thomas said, watching as Harris flipped through more channels. “Wish we had popcorn. This is better then the movies…”

 A few minutes later, they caught sight of the clown again. He was sprinting out the front door of the house, the baying of the hounds following him from around the corner. Slung over one of his shoulders was a female figure. Her hands and feet had been inexpertly tied with cord, or perhaps shoelaces and her frantic struggles made his hurried retreat all the more difficult. As they ran past the camera, Harris and Thomas caught a glimpse of an angry female face and a barely muffled stream of profanity leaking from the band of cloth tied loosely across her mouth.

 “That is not Dame Sheffield.” Thomas commented.

 “Uh...no...no it’s not.” Harris agreed. He thought for a moment. “I think that might be her ladyship’s maid...um...Betty. She’s got a bedroom next to her Ladyship’s…”

 “Is their much market for the maids of British peers?” Thomas asked.

 “Not enough to make it worthwhile…” They were back to the front gate feed now. The clown tossed his kicking and bucking captive in the back and dived into the drivers seat, slamming the door shut just as the dogs came running up, barking. Throwing the van into reverse, the clown backed up over the twisted iron fence. He might have made a clean getaway, had the already weakened tires not given out after going over the crumpled metal fence a second time. The van swerved as they went, one after another, halting as it went off the road. The flat tired spun, getting little traction on the soft mud and grass.

 The back doors of the van swung, unsteadily, open. From inside, the bound and gagged girl appeared, lowering her legs over the back and dropping down onto the ground. With a brief glance backwards, she started hopping back towards the mansion. The van, meanwhile, finally succeeded in getting back on the road. Swerving too and fro like a drunkard coming home after last call, it rattled off into the night…

 “Well that was fun.” Thomas replied, “Send me a copy of that tape.”

 “Sure thing.” Harris replied, grinning. “I’m not looking forward to telling the boss we’ll have to push back our plans to abduct her ladyship because some clown went and botched it himself, but it’ll be worth it for a laugh like that…”