“Well my dear…” Alistair said, twisting his mustache between two gloved fingers. “I’m afraid it’s time I was off and time you were...blowing up!” The well practiced peals of his evil laugh echoed in the abandoned shack with a hearty “Muahahaha!” as the villain dramatically threw back his black cape and brandished the bomb he had concealed within: half a dozen bright red sticks stamped with a white ‘ACME TNT’ across the side, tied together in a bundle and, at the center, a shiny brass alarm clock which he twisted around to a quarter to 1 and set going with a loud ticking.

 To his surprise, his evil laugh was joined by a muffled giggle from the young lady before him. She was lashed tight to one of the wooden support beams of the run down old shack, coils of rope circling her arms and chest while a smaller set of coils trapped her feet. A white cloth was tied across her mouth as a gag and underneath the neat band, Alistair got the distinct impression she was grinning at him sardonically.

 “Oh, I suppose you think this is but some jest, my dear!” The villain said with an annoyed grimace. “Well, in less then fifteen minutes, when the clock strikes 1, you will be blasted to atoms!” His frown deepened as a snort of amusement slipped from the damsel. “Alright…” He said, stomping over. “And just what is so funny?” He asked, placing his hands on his hips as he looked down at the abducted beauty.

 “Hmmmhhmmhhhhmmmmhhmmpph…” She mumbled something indistinct through the cloth. Sighing, the villain reached down and pulled down the strap of her gag, extracting the slightly damp wad behind it. She groaned, stretching her jaw.

 “I was saying, you’re in serious need of an update, man.” The young woman finally said. “Top hats and capes are sooo out of style. And trust me, that mustache was never in style to begin with.”

 Alistair gave a loud harrumph of disbelief, giving his mustache another quick twirl.  

 “And your bomb…”

 “What’s wrong with my bomb!?!” He asked, incredulous. “I’ll have you know, dynamite is classic for a reason!”

 “Yeah, but seriously, an old school alarm clock? Where’d you even find something that old. I mean come on, at least go digital…”