“Okay, run this by me again…”

“Which part?”

“Umm...this part here. Let’s see, step...37b?”

“Ok, so after we convince her that her long lost, identical twin sister Bernice has been abducted by agents of the Bavarian Illuminati and that she needs to fly to Münster to meet with the Professor of Byzantine studies to decipher the tablet that is their only hope of rescuing her…”

“Wait wait wait...is this before or after we show up disguised as Armenian vacuum cleaner salesmen in order to plant the spy camera hidden in the special dustbuster 3000?”

“Before...now, after we make the snatch and make our daring escape...speed boat...onto the helicopter...rendezvous with the cargo dirigible...ditch that in the badlands...catch the Sante Fe Red Eye express...and reach out hideout in the abandoned mini golf windmill built over the patriot missile silo...while we plant the photographs in the bomber manifesto we’ll deliver to the James Madison High student journalist paper, so they’ll be posted to social media and picked up by Channel 4 local news and run on the Tuesday evening slot at 7 which her father always watches while exercising down at Todd’s 24-hour Gym...I devised this setup to make sure she doesn’t escape...let me just unfold this...if you could move that stack of papers...no no the folder marked Steps 17-62c addendum...there we go…”

“Oh...wow…”

“I know right? Completely foolproof!”

“Where would we possibly get this many live electric eels?”

“At the Pearl Bay Marine Aquarium and Wildlife Refuge we stop at while dressed as Argentinian Mimes. Steps 17a through 21q, pay attention.”

“Ok...but how are we going to weld this much aluminum framing on such a short time frame? I don’t think we could get a contractor working on it in time.”

“No worries dude. I’ve been taking classes at the community college on weekends.”

“Right...look I’m not really sure about this plan.”

“What!?! But I spent so long working on it! I’d like to see you come up with a better plan!”

“Well let’s see...that’s her coming down the street, right?”

“Yeah?”

“And I don’t see anyone else around, do you?”

“No…”

“So, as soon as she gets close, I’m gonna get out of the van, point my gun at her, tell her to get in the van. Soon as we’re in, you drive off, easy peasy.”

“Really!?! And how are you going to secure her so she doesn’t try to escape?”

“We’ve got those rolls of tape in the back, right? I’ll just wrap some around her hands and feet, stuff this bandana in her mouth and tape it shut.”

“But that’s super boring!”

“Yeah, but it works. Remember the first rule of planning: Keep It Simple Stupid. Now keep quiet, here she comes…”